BXBX NOVEL Chapter 117 - Will
Iona put her hands together atop the table, her pale hinds striking out a contract against the stained wood. She pursed her lips, her hazel eyes focusing on her hands as she went into contemplation.
It was here that Li recognized that Iona seemed a little less healthy than usual. Her skin had more of a pallor and the dark circles under her eyes had intensified, though she was not nearly as emaciated and deprived of energy as the first time he had met her.
"You intend to have the farmers worship you? You as you are now, or you as you are in a more…spiritual form?"
"Spiritual form. If I assume it just once and spread the news that some kind of great forest spirit is roaming around the forests again, then I\'m sure they\'ll come out to see what the commotion\'s about, and then I can convince them to farm again at my behest."
"Will the knights of Lys and adventurers not try to strike you down first?"
"I don\'t see why they would. These people used to worship our kind. They must have lingering respect for us."
"All faiths beside the light have been persecuted into oblivion." A weary expression formed on Iona\'s face. "You can see evidence of that with me. I, a forest spirit, was classified as a monster to be executed in the capitol like any common beast."
"You did kill three or so humans, though, didn\'t you? I\'m not belittling you, just pointing out that people can be tribalistic and reactionary when one of their own are killed."
"They would have accepted it were it not for the duchess\'s rule. Before the end of all guardians, it was not uncommon for human sacrifices to be offered to us. Of course, my forest did not partake in such acts, as we were far removed from dealing with mortals, but those more acquaintanced with them such as Morrigan made liberal use of such power."
"I see. So opinion has turned against us to the point where we\'d just be considered monsters." Li shrugged. "Well, I can tell you I have thought of this reaction and assure you that so long as I can get these farmers to come back to the farms under my orders, then I can deal with the politics.
What I wanted to know from you was what this would do to my humanity. What kind of toll would it take on me?"
"Hm." Iona looked at Li for a few analyzing seconds. "It will certainly reinforce your divinity, though to what degree, I cannot say much. It is hard to draw a comparison with you to Dagda, a being who held not a single ounce of humanity within him, but to Morrigan, it is more apt."
Li\'s attention piqued. "The Winterwood\'s guardian? She was like me, you think?"
"In a sense. I did not know her nor her roots directly, but she was one of a kind in that she was a fusion of human and guardian, explaining why she alone among guardians decided to love and aid the mortals near her so."
"Fusion between human and guardian? How did that come to pass? From what I feel, the two seem fundamentally incompatible. The average human mind simply cannot process the sheer complexity of functions needed to regulate lifeforms on the scale of an entire forest."
"Certainly, she was not a natural existence, no." Iona looked down at one of her hands as she raised her fingers one by one. She hovered between raising four or five before shrugging.
"Perhaps five centuries ago, the guardian of the Winterwoods was much like all the others. More like a golem than an independent being, dedicated solely to regulating the functions of the forest, maintaining the delicate balance of life.
Riviera at that time was a burgeoning town constantly under attack by hinterlanders, and to bolster their defenses, they decided to expand, and for that, they required wood for walls and armaments.
They sought to cut down the Winterwoods, and as they did so, the guardian at the time came upon perhaps a rather drastic calculation – that humans, though harmless now, would proliferate to disrupt the balance of life.
The guardian chose to eliminate this human disease before it spread, and increased its production of monsters, sending them crashing against Riviera."
Li could not imagine spear and sword wielding level 20 soldiers in a regular old town competing against armies of monsters and what was likely a mid level 80s guardian spirit. "A little town against a guardian? I can\'t imagine that went well."
"Certainly, it did not, no, but, as you can see from the sprawling city around you, Riviera won at the end. A witch of the highest caliber throughout all of humanity at that time fought against the guardian and bested it."
Li calculated that the pinnacle of human power in this world was level 70 at the very best. Even Old Thane who neared that level did so because he had giantsblood that allowed him to exceed the limitations of his fragile human form.
Hardly enough to beat an army of monsters, forest spirits, and then a guardian spirit.
"Were humans stronger back then? Hard to believe that a single witch brought down a guardian, considering how disappointingly weak everyone seems to be now."
Iona shook her head. "The witch fought, but she could not win. Instead, she utilized a ritual that fused her being with the guardian\'s, banking on the condition that her will could manage to survive melding with such a being.
And it did. Humans are fragile little creatures, short lived, weak boned, and prone to dying at the slightest scratch. They bare neither fangs nor claws nor can they close their wounds. Their magic is mere imitation of divine teaching."
Iona put a hand to her own heart. "But what I have learned from taking in their souls is that their wills are supremely powerful. Their willpower is packed with emotions. Anger, sadness, love, hope – all of this swirls within them in a storm greater than any physical or magical prowess they hold.
Their will allows them to ignore all calculations, logic, and reasoning, letting them face death without a shred of fear in their hearts. It is a truly powerful phenomenon that would have been entirely foreign to a guardian who had lived purely by means of cold calculus."
"Even if this witch did overtake the guardian, she couldn\'t have maintained the forest by herself." If Li could have made an analogy for this situation, it was that managing a forest did not require an individualistic and willful person, but rather an autonomous and efficient program.
"Had her will been fully intact, yes, but her will did not entirely emerge victorious. A rather strange fusion occurred that allowed her to express human thought and personality whilst maintaining a diminished but functional capacity to regulate the forest.
Thus, Morrigan came into existence, and for her, as she made herself more and more likable to the mortals, worship did not alter her much, though she very much did enjoy it."
"Huh, so she didn\'t emerge fully human either. Explains why she asked for human sacrifices despite having once been one."
"Ah, that. The witch was a rather…promiscuous woman, and that did not change as she became a guardian. Her idea of sacrifices were to take lovers and then immortalize the ones she fancied the most as her roots."
"So her personality managed to stay relatively intact." Li nodded. "That bodes well for me, then."
"Perhaps, yes, but you are also different. You are a human become full guardian spirit, and that is an unprecedented case. It may be that this erodes your humanity." Iona paused. "Do you truly wish to do this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Perhaps it is because of the humanity mixed within me, but I do not wish to see yours flee you."
"And I thought you wanted me to be fully divine so you could tag onto me as a root and to save the forests."
"Becoming your root would allow me to connect to you at a spiritual level and thus regain my full spirithood, yes, and I certainly do wish for the forests to become as great as they once were, but…," She sighed, loosening thoughts she had held to herself for decades.
"I am tainted by human selfishness. Never once have I ever been treated as something more than an…existence. A function. As a root, I had a specific task to perform to ease my guardian\'s burdens, and that was comprised the entirety of my reason for being.
I was not more than that. When my guardian fell and I wandered, becoming a teacher to humans, I knew that most of them saw me as simply a helpful source of knowledge, but a few, particularly the children, saw me as more than a means to an end. I became not something, but someone to appreciate and understand and even protect, with a few of my students even laying down their lives to allow my escape when the capitol called a hunt upon me.
When I first beheld your existence, I let go of these human feelings that I selfishly began to like, accepting that to return the green to its former glory, I was willing to sacrifice it all. But you, too, have treated me with human appreciation, and that has made me consider that perhaps it is possible to have you, with enough training, to be both human and divine, to both restore the forests and to maintain yourself."
"I see, so that\'s why you haven\'t pushed wanting to be my root," said Li. "Since it\'s a spiritual connection, and you mentioned before that they go two ways, it might be that you, despite being diluted, might have enough spiritual presence to wash away my humanity."
Iona bowed her head. "That is so, yes."
"Don\'t be ashamed. We are both selfish in that regard. I could become a godlike being and take over this world at the snap of a finger, restore all the forests, probably take it a step further and make this entire world one giant forest, but not until I settle my human obligations first.
Is that selfish to the greater good? Yes, I recognize it, but at the same time, being human is all I\'ve known, so if I\'m ever to lose my humanity, I want to lose it on my own terms."
Li pointed to himself. "So you shouldn\'t worry about my humanity, because it is something that I do value. I just want to know that if I decide to take on the role as an object of worship, will you be able to regulate the effects on me, if there are any?"
Iona thought for a long time. Bordering on almost a minute. She seemed to look at Li with an almost blank expression before she nodded solemnly. "Certainly, yes, I can do at least that."
"Good, then you really don\'t have to worry about me losing my sense of self. Alright then, onto another question I wanted to ask. You\'re long lived and you have an idea about Morrigan and her followers. These retired farmers – do you think they still have faith? Enough that it\'ll push them to me if I make a move?"
Iona furrowed her brows. "I cannot say, no. It has been some time since Morrigan\'s destruction, after all. But you may be able to glean the strength of their faith by talking to them directly, for most are still alive and well, merely in the city."
"I see. Guess I\'ll go ahead and start interviewing a few farmers then."
"If that is your chosen path, then I can be of further assistance. Ada, the woman whom you saw, is the daughter of one such farmer."
"A helpful coincidence," nodded Li.
"When I eked out a job as first an herbalist before being pushed out by Black Vine, there were many former farming families that sought my services as they still believed in the effectiveness of the old ways, and I have maintained contact with a few of them. To that end, I believe their faith still present, but whether it is strong enough for them to uproot their new lives, well, that is a matter I do not truly know."
"That\'s a matter that I\'ll take into my own hands, just tell me where I can see her and her family."