BXBX NOVEL Chapter 126 - Sadness And Sorrow
{Still in flashback}
"S-so, this is where you will be living for next few years of your life?" Stuttered jack with a dumbfounded expression. At the same time, he could feel his eye twitching while looking at the scene in front of him.
You might be wondering, what was he looking at? Well, the answer is simple. It is a pack of wolves, or more accurately, a tribe or even a village of wolves. There were way too many wolves to call them a pack anymore, so I went with the term tribe instead.
Anyway, humans are not very fond of beasts, nor war beasts fond of humans, but to Jack\'s eyes, he had found the person who might figure out a way to create a status quo.
While yes, the wolves weren\'t doing anything to harm them, the glares were menacing enough. The glares did die down a little after they saw me, but it did not stop them from surrounding us with inquisitive expressions on their wolf faces.
"Atlas?" A voice called out from behind us, however, I knew exactly who it was.
"Keaurin? Oh damn, look at you..." I cranked my neck back, just to have my mouth become agape at what I was seeing "You are almost have the size of Juilam"
\'ONLY HALF!?\' Olivia and Jack could not help screaming inside their minds, What kind of monster would Juilam be if Keaurin is not even half his size?
"I see you have noticed my size and beautiful wings, kukukuku" He flaunted before laughing creepily.
"Why did you grow so much?" I asked, seemingly perplexed at his size. He was now 9 meters tall with a wingspan of 15 meters.
"Oh? Well after the battle against that bastard mage, I had started to evolve since I had broken through to the Mid-Gaseous rank. To think we had to still use the help of Juilam even though I am a beast... I am ashamed that i could not take on a single easily human, no offense." He snarled
"Well, you did use a lot of your mana at the start of the battle since there were quite a lot of them. And even then, that guy had an aura spell so it would have not been easy either way." I shook my head.
After a moment of silence, Keaurin finally spoke up and asked "So who are these two behind you? They must be close to you if you are bringing them here"
"Hello, my name is Jack. I am a Major General for the Zogarian army. It is nice to make your aquantence" Jack pushed out his hand for a handshake
"Hello, my name is Olivia of Garandale" She nodded, however, I just looked at her with a raised brow before realizing why she had said Garandale instead of Raven. My mood subsequently dropped as my mind had blocked out all the bad feelings on the way here, leaving me in a state where I had almost forgotten what had happened.
"So why are you guys here?" Keaurin asked, seemingly uncaring about their statuses or names.
"Well, Jack is only here temporarily, but me and Olivia..." I went silent as a bitter smile circled up my lips "Are going to stay a while, if you don\'t mind of course."
"It isn\'t my call to make. Go to Juilam and ask him, even though I am pretty sure he is going to say yes. He has quite the soft spot for you, you know? I never seen him train anyone to the extent he had trained you." Keaurin shrugged
"I see... I\'ll go see him now. Jack is going to leave in a bit so you don;t have to worry about hi-"
"No need to go anywhere" A rasping voice entered my ears, making a shiver go down my spine.
"Hello, young one." Juilam greeted with warmness in his eyes. I could see the same look in his eyes, the same shimmer and same warmness that my father had when he looks at me.
I thought my feelings were in control. I felt like I was fine. What if I ran away? I\'m fine. I am fine. I-I am fine, right? I am not feeling pain. I deserve this. I am a monster. I didn\'t deserve a family.
I could feel my heart being gripped tightly while every ounce of air felt as heavy as an anvil. \'Why does it hurt so much?\'
"Young one, are you okay?" Juilam panicked.
"Yeah, why?
"Then why are you crying?" Asked Juilam while trying to comfort me.
I slowly raised my head and touched under my cheeks with the tips of my fingers. I could feel a wet substance between my fingers the moment I touched my face.
\'My face is wet? Was it night precipitation? No, that can\'t be right. It\'s warm. Too warm. Are these tears? Why am I crying? I deserve this... Then why, why does it hurt so much?\'
When I had finally become aware of my own tears, 3 more came out instantaneously and traveled down my face to my chin, until they finally fell onto the floor. The tears did not stop there, as they slowly started to increase in quantity, becoming more and more like a flowing river.
Olivia and Jack tried to comfort me from the side, but the expression on my face was plain. Not a single emotion could be seen on my face, but my eyes were filled to the brim with them. Juilam also tried to say something comforting, yet I did not stop crying for a single second. The tears kept flowing out, now more furiously. The quantity increased and my sobs became audible. Eventually, my sobs turned into wails and my knees gave out, succumbing to my sorrow, sadness, pain, anger, frustration. All of them came out at the same time.
These were not the tears and wails equal to 6 years of pent-up tears, but rather, the wails and cries of a grown man finally breaking. That break had caused a leak, which made more cracks venture up the cracked dam. Eventually, the enormous dam of all my negative emotions had finally broken dam, flooding out in the form of sadness and sorrow.
IT felt like the whole tribe had stopped moving the moment they heard my wails. While some were curious, others recognized my voice and flocked around me. I kept on gripping onto Juilam who had already sat down and enveloped me within his fur as if I was his puppy. The countless other wolves who had flocked around us started to rub their bodies onto me and surround me as if I was a baby yearning for warmth.
I cried and cried while the wolves licked and cuddled me.
Flashes of my first father\'s fatherly love, my first mother\'s warmth, Ava\'s love for me as a child, the scenes of Aroura playing with me, and even the warm smiles of my Deros, my father... All of them flashed by as memories that reminded me of the days I loved.
Those memories, however, did not last long. Countless memories, some that felt like years, while others that were as short as a few seconds all played in my mind like a movie.
I deserved this, so why does it hurt so much? Why does my heart feel so clenched? And why do tears flood my eyes?
Eventually, I had cried for over an hour, and it was only then I had fallen asleep. Yet my sleep was not undisturbed, as that was the first night I had ever dreamt in this life, and it was not my last. It was a dream that I would not remember, yet it was also a dream that had engraved a core concept in my mind...
I was weak. I am weak. And that is why I need to get stronger. Stronger to protect what I love, stronger to defeat those who wish to hurt me. I want to be untouchable. NO! I have to be untouchable. And for that, I need to work hard. I need to work until my bones start cracking, and my mouth spits blood. Only then would I be satisfied with my progress.
***
"Hey Pan. Are you coming or what?" Asked Olivia who had been standing above me for some time now.
She was currently wearing nothing but her bra that actually was just bandages covering her ample breasts, and a fur skirt that covered everything down to her knees, but nothing more. It did give a sneak peek at her thighs due to how it was cut, but she did not mind it too much.
For a woman, it would not be an exaggeration to say that she was a little buff. Her arm and leg muscles were bulging slightly, but they were nothing that was unpleasant to the eye. It had added some kind of charm to her, almost telling someone that she can dominate them no matter how strong they think they are.
I could see the outlines of a four-pack on her good tones abdominal area, while her neckline seemed sharper than ever, almost making me want to have a bite of it for some odd reason.
"It would be nice if you stopped gawking at my appearance every time you see me" She snarled
"Can\'t help it when you are wearing something so revealing" I awkwardly chuckled.
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