I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Normally, it refers to the extreme pain of suffering from food poisoning while also stepping on a LEGO, tormented both inside and out. But in truth, this idiom has a different meaning.

It’s the wisdom that internal worries can be easily resolved by focusing on external enemies.

This ancient wisdom was proven once again when I captured 101 Tutorial Fairies and uploaded the footage to SG Net.

-Anonymous: Is Undertaker a god? Is Undertaker a god? Is Undertaker a god?

-OldManGoryeo: Watching those fairies getting wrecked feels so satisfying, haha.

-Anonymous: Mom, I want to be the Undertaker when I grow up! Mom, I want to be the Undertaker when I grow up!

-LiteraryGirl: Why do we only get to watch this awesome prank on video? Can’t we get tickets to see it live?

└Anonymous: I think I know where that is. Forming a raid party to cheer on-site.

-[National Road Management Corps] Officer: Truly retribution. Proof that justice is still alive and breathing. Those who run rampant in this apocalypse should watch this video and reflect.

-dolLHoUse: Worry ;;;

-[Yuldoguk] SwordMarquess: Truly, the cinematography is excellent!

“Hmm.”

I nodded in satisfaction.

The number of upvotes on the post was the highest in my entire life across 89 cycles!

Our awakeners had various personalities and temperaments, but they all shared a common hatred for fairies!

But it was too soon to relax. No matter how well you deal with external enemies, internal problems don’t just disappear. It’s merely a distraction.

My internal worry, the cancer itself, was exuding a pleasant scent beside me.

“Wow… capturing all the Tutorial Fairies from across the country and gathering them in one place. How did you come up with such an idea, guild leader? You’re amazing.”

Pop quiz.

Who was it that just smiled brightly and praised me?

Hint 1: This person called me 'guild leader,' a title few use.

Hint 2: This person has rare pink hair.

Hint 3: It’s the 89th cycle now.

“As expected, guild leader, you’re quite unique. I’m glad I decided to follow you when you invited me at Busan Station…”

The answer: Go Yuri!

If you were a normal person, hearing this answer would make you scream “Aaaah! Nyarlathotep!” and run away.

But I was far from normal, and at this point, I had no idea that the 89th cycle would end in a massacre.

Naturally, I didn’t suspect that Go Yuri was a mind-controlling, hypnotic Kadabra (from Pokémon) in human disguise.

“Well, thanks to you joining, running the guild has become much easier. Sometimes I think the guild members like you more than me.”

“Ahaha. Guild leader, you’re too kind. I don’t have the responsibilities or the authority to give orders, that’s all.”

So, the me of the 89th cycle, listening to the pink shiny Kadabra’s laugh, thought it was simply a pleasant voice. What a fool. Run away.

“And honestly, luck played a part in this one.”

“Luck, you say?”

“Yes. I may know all the patterns of the fairies left on the Korean Peninsula, but they surrendered too easily.”

“……”

Go Yuri smiled brightly.

“You did your best. In the end, it’s all down to luck. The fairies were just unlucky, and you, guild leader, should be happy.”

“Hmm. You’re right.”

No! Undertaker, no!

Run away now. Run away immediately!

…But no matter how much I acted out Interstellar on my own, there was no way my voice would reach the me of the 89th cycle.

The only consolation was that Go Yuri’s mind control wasn’t species-specific.

Her powers worked on fairies as well as Homo sapiens. Thanks to that, the 101 fairies didn’t cause much trouble even in prison.

“Gah… Where are we?”

“It’s a strange ceiling.”

Their location was Cheongsong Prison.

Since the apocalypse, Cheongsong Prison had experienced a continuous outflow of population due to its walls breaking down. It had been a long time since it bustled with new arrivals.

“Kidnapping? Is this really kidnapping?”

“We, who were created for clichés, have become the playthings of clichés?”

“That, too, is a cliché.”

“Gah… If I were born 500 years earlier, I would have dominated world literature. I was born in the wrong era…”

“There was no cola, potato chips, or instant noodles in the Middle Ages, so dominating would be useless.”

“I could make all future literati 500 years from now regret not being born earlier.”

“Gah, a fearsome genius…!”

Rustle, rustle-

Leaving 101 fairies alone made it as noisy as a marketplace.

It was time to start the main event.

Go Yuri, as if prepared, smiled and handed me a microphone (which gave me chills). I climbed onto the podium.

“Testing, testing. Hello, fairies. Nice to meet you.”

“Gah. You are…?”

“I am your guide. I understand you must be surprised to be suddenly kidnapped and brought here. But don’t worry. From now on, I, your instructor, will guide you kindly from start to finish.”

The fairies lying around the auditorium blinked and whispered to each other.

“This sounds oddly familiar.”

“It feels very familiar.”

“These ropes are too strong to untie…”

“Busan Station awakener!”

Eeeeek! A fairy screamed from the middle of the auditorium.

“I’ve seen the footage! That human cleared the nightmare dungeon at Busan Station in less than 20 minutes! It’s definitely him!”

“Gah?”

“20 minutes? That’s the protagonist type awakener the seniors warned us about!”

Rustle, rustle, rustle!

The fairies became noisy in an instant.

But the speaker, believing in his righteousness, was not swayed by mere outside clamor. Like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at the Lincoln Memorial, I continued my speech firmly.

“Calm down and listen to me, fairies. When do you think evil arises in this world?”

“Gah?”

“I believe evil arises when one cannot or chooses not to understand the position and emotions of others. Ignoring and refusing to know. In that sense, Socrates' old proposition that ignorance is the root of evil is truly correct.”

“What is this human babbling about?”

“I don’t understand at all…”

“Ah, ah. I have arranged this meeting to save you from the depths of evil. You toy with humans because you’ve never been toys yourselves.”

Question marks appeared over the fairies' tiny heads.

In the now quieter auditorium, my voice echoed like a righteous shout.

“Do you get it now? From now on, kill each other.”

“…?”

It didn’t take long for the bent question marks to straighten into exclamation points.

The Tutorial Dungeon for fairies, start.

“Gyaaaa! Save me, fairy!”

“Gah! A rock! A rock is rolling towards us! Gyaaaa! Gyaaah!”

Full of malicious traps, limited resources, and stages designed to instill paranoia.

All creation is born from imitation.

When building Cheongsong Prison Dungeon, I drew inspiration entirely from the great predecessors in this field. Those predecessors were joyfully frolicking in the architecture their successor had designed.

“How can you do this while wearing a human mask! Do you have no human heart?”

“No, I don’t. Instead, I have a fairy’s heart. Gah- gahaa-”

“...…”

“What? What are you looking at, number 76? Did you grant mercy when humans begged for their lives in Yeongwol?”

“Gah! We were just following orders!”

“Were you? I’m similar. I command myself as my own master. Please be as understanding as possible, fairies.”

“Crazy human… Crazy human…”

The fairies trembled.

By the way, all of this was being meticulously recorded by Go Yuri’s smartphone.

“Ah, guild leader. Sorry, you’re not in the frame. Could you move in a bit?”

“Like this?”

“Yes.”

As time passed in Cheongsong Prison, day by day, Go Yuri’s smile evolved from 'bright' to 'beaming.'

As a master of mind control, Go Yuri also excelled at video editing.

Director and writer: Undertaker. Filming and editing: Go Yuri. Starring and supporting: Fairies.

As a result of our combined efforts, the emotional documentary weekend drama [Tutorial Reversed World] hit a 100% viewership rate every time it was uploaded on SG Net.

“Guild leader, you’re truly interesting.”

…Looking back now.

No matter how much the wisdom of internal and external threats was applied, it was difficult to elicit such a consistent response from the crazy SG Net.

Perhaps the edited videos themselves were already imbued with perception manipulation, enough to satisfy even Sim Ah-ryeon or SwordMarquess.

From this point on, it was certain that Go Yuri became seriously interested and obsessed with me.

Of course, my purpose in establishing a prison for fairies wasn’t just to avenge the accumulated racial grudges. (That was only about 50% of the reason.)

I looked down at the fairies who had lost a tug-of-war and fallen 60 meters underground.

‘I’ve captured all the fairies left on the Korean Peninsula and made them into clowns. Do you still plan to remain hidden?’

Fairy King.

Yes. The presumed supreme anomaly that managed and controlled the ‘Tutorial Dungeons’ and ‘Fairies’ that appeared simultaneously worldwide… a top-tier anomaly.

According to the future classification system of the Library Society, it might be the first to be classified as level 5, outer god-class.

‘I’ve put so much effort into capturing the fairies. I must gather as much information about that guy as possible in this cycle.’

Eeek! The fairies screamed in terror.

Amazingly, even by this point, I still didn’t know anything about the Fairy King’s true identity.

Not once in 89 cycles had I obtained meaningful information.

That fact kept me on alert.

‘Not an easy opponent.’

Unlike typical villains who are eager to reveal their identities in other creations, the fairy boss was a true mastermind.

The only information I had was the two-word phrase ‘Fairy King.’

“Hey, butcher.”

“Gah…”

I tapped the forehead of the fairy lying on the ground with my finger.

“Why don’t you start talking about your boss? Do you think I’ll stop wreaking havoc just on the Korean Peninsula? China, Japan, India… well, maybe not India. Anyway, I can wipe out fairies in many places.”

“Gah, I, I can’t tell you…”

“Why? Because you only have one mouth? Would it help if I gave you two or three?”

“Eeek!”

Footsteps echoed. I glanced back to see Go Yuri standing with her hands behind her back.

“Are you interrogating, guild leader?”

“Yeah. It’s not a pretty sight, so don’t film this.”

“Not a pretty sight? It’s such a lovely sight that we should treasure it and keep it away from prying eyes.”

Go Yuri tilted her head.

“Hmm. Are you having trouble because the fairies aren’t talking? If I can help, I’d like to.”

“Huh? If you can help, that would be great, but these guys have pretty tight lips. I appreciate the thought.”

“...…”

Go Yuri smiled.

“No need to thank me. What are you asking them?”

“Ah, I was just asking for the Fairy King’s real name…”

“――The Fairy King is the Fairy King.”

Mumble.

I stared at the fairy. Our eyes met. The lips of the fairy, which had remained silent for days, twitched.

“But humans misunderstand the true meaning of our sovereign.”

“…Misunderstand? What do you mean?”

“The sovereign you think of is ‘군주 (君主),’ meaning a ruler whom subordinates serve and are loyal to. But our Fairy King is different. Our sovereign is ‘군주 (群主),’ meaning the master of a collective called ‘fairies.’”

The fairy smiled brightly.

“We are one. One is us. Therefore, we truly say ‘our Fairy King.’ Betrayal is nothing but self-betrayal. We――”

Boom!

The fairy’s lips trembled, and an explosion erupted from within. The fairy’s body swelled like a balloon.

A flash. I quickly raised an aura barrier between the fairies and us. Red liquid splattered against the shield like a windshield.

When the explosion subsided, nothing remained where the fairy had been except for scraps of flesh.

“What the hell is this…?”

“Ah, it seems there was a bomb planted to ensure secrecy.”

Go Yuri muttered beside me.

“Hmm. This is the first one, but… guild leader shouldn’t be too troubled, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“There are still 100 fairies left.”

Go Yuri clasped her hands together.

“You can ask 100 more questions.”

Footnotes:

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