I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

“Your Excellency. Upon reflection, I realize I haven’t truly enjoyed my life.”

Yu Ji-won said.

“Even if I were to be Time Sealed and relive my 'happiest day,' I doubt that happiness would hold much objective value.”

Huh… What is she talking about?

“While other ordinary people spend their sealed time happily with their families or lovers, I would be endlessly repeating the day I got accepted into university or the day I topped my class. Imagine that, Your Excellency. Is that truly the most valuable form of happiness? I find it extremely unfair.”

“No… what… So what is it you want to say to me?”

“Honorable vice guild leader, please, in the next cycle, inform me in advance that you are a Regressor and the Prophet who promises the gospel of eternal days. If I know that, this wretched sheep will tirelessly work to create the happiest day I can, to prepare for the heaven I will eventually enjoy.”

“...…”

Silence filled the tent.

“So, if I understand correctly, I will Time Seal you, but before that, you want to create a day you will happily repeat forever?”

“As expected, Your Excellency. Your understanding is astute.”

“Are you truly insane?”

"Vice guild leader! I will serve you faithfully until the day this world ends. So please, promise me this.”

“The world has nearly ended! No, Ji-won. I’m sorry. This vice guild leader was wrong. I was lying. It’s unreasonable to think someone like a Regressor exists, right?”

“I have always trusted you, vice guild leader. Isn’t our bond of friendship not so trivial? Of course, in the next cycle, I might be too foolish to recognize you as the Savior. Then just tell me, ‘I know you killed someone when you were fifteen and dumped the body in a celery field in North Korea.’”

“What? You killed someone in middle school? No, wait… Hey! Stop grabbing my pants! Let go! Hey, let go! Lieutenant Yu! You crazy bitch!”

Having lived as a regressor, I had encountered many lunatics, but Yu Ji-won was the first psychopath who actively sought to exploit my regression solely for her own pleasure and happiness.

Even upon reflection after 1183 cycles, there was no one like Yu Ji-won.

The most astonishing fact was… this girl wasn’t just talking; she truly served me with utmost loyalty until her dying breath.

-̷̱̀G̶͇̚r̶̫̄ṵ̷̈́a̷͍͑ȯ̷̜o̸͈͗r̴̲͑r̵͉͐ä̶͚́r̵̠͌ṛ̶̎r̴̹̈́r̴͎̍!

In the fifth cycle, I lost my head within two minutes of engaging the Ten Legs.

But in that battle, many awakeners died before me, including Yu Ji-won.

"Vice guild leader! Danger!”

Yu Ji-won even shielded me from the Ten Legs’ tentacles. She leaped in front of me and took the hit herself.

I was dumbfounded.

Because even without her intervention, I could have dodged that attack.

If there were an award for ‘The Most Pointless Death of the Year,’ this would be a prime contender.

If the person who died wasn’t my direct subordinate, who had been through thick and thin with me, I might have clapped and laughed.

“Hey… Lieutenant Yu, no, Ji-won… what the hell is this new insanity…?”

“Cough.”

Yu Ji-won, with a neat hole in her chest, coughed up blood.

Her blue eyes, shining with a seriousness this world would never see again, looked up at me.

“Next cycle… Your Excellency, promise…”

Thud.

And she died.

“...…”

This is driving me crazy.

It was absurd, but I wasn’t cruel enough to ignore the last words of someone who died in my place (even a pointless death is still a kind of death, right?).

I regretted not being a bit more cruel, but it was too late. I delivered the message to Yu Ji-won in the next cycle.

“Indeed.”

The silver-haired cool chick nodded.

Since the world hadn’t completely collapsed yet, resources were still plentiful. Yu Ji-won raided a convenience store with an axe and fortified it.

She claimed she had owned the convenience store for a long time, but I didn’t believe her. This girl could lie more naturally than she breathed.

“I understand that you claim to be a regressor. I also understand that you possess the ability known as the Time Seal. But all of this is just unverified claims, isn’t it?”

“I also know you’re a psychopath.”

“That’s not surprising. Everyone around me has known that for a long time.”

-Kyaaaah!

In the middle of our conversation, a creature crashed through the convenience store window. It looked like a cockroach monster. I charged my staff with aura and pierced its mouth beautifully.

Crash! Yu Ji-won approached and finished it off with an axe to the head. The creature trembled.

Yu Ji-won always had a keen sense for combat. This talent was evident even back then.

We resumed our conversation as if nothing had happened.

“What more proof do you need? I know you like Three Kingdoms and that you majored in Latin.”

“What? Hmm. I see. Very interesting, but it’s still just unverified claims.”

“Damn it, I know you killed someone when you were fifteen and dumped the body in a celery field in North Korea. Believe me, you psycho bitch!”

“…Oh.”

Yu Ji-won blinked her eyebrows.

“I understand. Your statement just now greatly increases the credibility of your claims.”

“Why? Because it’s a truth no one else knows?”

“To be precise, because it’s ‘incorrect knowledge.’ It wasn’t when I was fifteen; it was when I was fourteen. And it wasn’t in North Korea; it was in Dobong Mountain.”

“...…”

“If your ability was to read minds or uncover secrets, there would be no reason to accept incorrect information. Therefore, you must have received this wrong information from someone else. And I have several reasons to be confident that my murder was never discovered.”

“...…”

“Hmmm, regression. And past cycles of me sending letters to myself through a regressor as a courier… very interesting. Few people in life experience something this extraordinary.”

This is driving me crazy, seriously.

I opened a can of coffee from the convenience store shelf and chugged it. Yu Ji-won didn’t stop me.

“Consider this can of coffee my courier fee. I’ve delivered the last words, so I’m leaving now.”

“Ah. Please wait for two minutes. I will come with you.”

I was startled.

When I turned around, Yu Ji-won was rolling up the national and city maps spread on the counter and stuffing them into a trunk.

Incidentally, the most striking interior decoration in this convenience store was the ‘Tutorial Fairy’s’ skin. I did not misspeak. This girl had skinned the fairy and mounted it on the wall like a trophy.

I could confidently say she had skinned at least two different beings before.

“Hey, what do you mean, come with me? You have plenty of supplies here. Just hold out here.”

“That’s the worst plan.”

Yu Ji-won pushed up her glasses.

“In the previous cycle, didn’t I eventually leave here and join your guild? If I’m going to leave anyway, it’s better to join now and rise through the ranks faster.”

“It’s not my guild, it’s led by Dang Seo-rin.”

“Ah. I see. I apologize. Please guide and correct me whenever I make mistakes in the future.”

“No, no need for corrections or guidance, just don’t follow me, okay? Hey. Hey! I don’t want this! I don’t like you anymore! Go away, will you?”

Yu Ji-won did not go away.

She clung to me like a parasite. This psychopath’s chosen host was the Samcheon World.

Yu Ji-won demonstrated her dedication to the witch cosplay in the guild by proving she possessed not only the ‘Minimap’ skill but also ‘Dang Seo-rin Favorability.’

“Wow, vice guild leader. Where did you find such a cute kid?”

“It’s the honor of three lifetimes, Great Witch.”

“……”

Yu Ji-won, selected as an early member of Samcheon World, was promoted faster and higher than her 5th cycle self. One could say she made quite a spectacle.

Her official title was Operations Manager, serving as my deputy and special secretary to the guild leader, Dang Seo-rin. In short, she firmly established herself as the third-ranking member within the guild.

Considering she was the third in command of Korea’s top guild, it was equivalent to being the third-ranking executive in the largest corporation before the apocalypse. She could be considered highly successful.

However, our silver-haired psychopath Yu Ji-won was not the type to care about others' evaluations.

“Manager Yu.”

“Yes, vice guild leader.”

“…We’ll be fighting the Ten Legs soon. Shouldn’t we have your funeral first?”

“Ah.”

“Anyway, from what I see, you seem much happier in this cycle than in the last one. While I can’t know what you consider happiness, wouldn’t you be satisfied with the afterlife you’ll have now?”

“Hmm.”

She said, “Hmm.” This girl.

This psychopath just looked around the air and said, “Hmm.”

Visually, her lips formed an exact 'ω'.

"Vice guild leader, I suddenly thought. If I’m happier in this 6th cycle than I was in the 5th… there’s a good chance I’ll be a bit happier in the 7th, isn’t there?”

“Ji-won. What are you talking about, Ji-won…”

“Please, in the next cycle, try your best to make me happier before my funeral…”

“Hey!”

By now, you can probably guess how this story ended.

That’s right. Without needing any epilogue, to cut straight to the conclusion, Yu Ji-won, this damn bitch, used me as a delivery girl for her last words every single time.

From the 6th cycle to the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th.

Every time I asked if she was finally happy enough for a funeral, she would say,

“Hmm. In the next cycle, I think I’ll be a bit happier.”

She kept postponing her sealing endlessly.

Seriously, who does that?

I’ve read countless web novels and encountered numerous regressor protagonists after the 550th cycle, but I’ve never seen a character who uses an infinite regressor like this.

Even later on… she joined the National Road Management Corps under Noh Do-hwa.

“This Minimap skill is perfect for our Corps. Thanks to it, tracking the members’ locations in real-time is effortless. Wow. Thanks for introducing such a talented individual for free, Awakener Undertaker…”

“...…”

And after several cycles, Yu Ji-won smoothly rose to the position of Operations Control Room Chief, just below Noh Do-hwa in the National Road Management Corps.

So, over a very long period, spanning hundreds of years, Yu Ji-won was genuinely ‘climbing the ranks.’

From a regular guild member to my deputy. From my deputy to the third-ranking member of Samcheon World. From a Samcheon World executive to a key figure in the National Road Management Corps.

It was a miracle of creating something from nothing! A living success story!

I couldn’t fathom how such a phenomenon could occur.

A power-hungry monster climbing ranks every cycle? Isn’t that a real anomaly?

More astonishing was that this ambitious monster never once betrayed me in the long history spanning 1183 cycles.

Once, I asked her over drinks why she never betrayed me, and her answer was astonishing.

“Betray you, Undertaker? I would rather die than do that.”

“Why? You’re a psychopath.”

“Please stop stereotyping psychopaths. You’re a regressor with Complete Memory. You remember everyone’s every action and judge them accordingly. So, I must always be cautious not to displease you. Isn’t that common sense?”

Holding a clear soju glass, Yu Ji-won looked up at the full moon in the night sky. Her gaze was wistful.

“I find it hard to understand how someone could be foolish enough to betray you. On the other hand, it’s truly fascinating. Why are so many people so foolish?”

“……”

I really don’t understand this girl…

But on the flip side, no one knew Yu Ji-won as deeply as I did. By the 50th cycle, I was certain of one thing about her.

Even if everyone else wanted to be Time Sealed, Yu Ji-won definitely wouldn’t.

I once thought she was born in the wrong era.

But I was wrong. This girl would thrive in any era. Even in an apocalypse where civilization had crumbled, she remained the ultimate survivor. In fact, she was optimized for this era.

At this point, I felt half-obligated, half-jokingly to ask Yu Ji-won.

“Ji-won.”

“Yes?”

“Are you happy now?”

The chess piece on the map toppled over with a plop.

Then my silver-haired deputy, the nearly one-of-a-kind Three Kingdoms club member and the original member of my regression life, the psychopath friend would ponder for a moment, resting her chin on her hand, before giving her answer.

“I think I can be a bit happier next time.”

Footnotes:

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