I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

No, actually, all of my stories belong to epilogues. At least until before the 1183rd cycle.

So, strictly speaking, Dang Seo-rin's story had many epilogues, and I'll mention just a few of them.

"Ah, Undertaker, you're awake?"

The day after the post-Ten Legs subjugation celebration.

Everyone was passed out drunk. Those who could handle their liquor were as drunk as they could handle, and those who couldn't were equally intoxicated. The Ten Legs' head was a fine accompaniment for such revelry.

Dawn lingered in the remnants of the night, unwilling to forget, as Dang Seo-rin stood alone under the white pine. Her posture suggested she was bidding farewell to the night past rather than awaiting the sunrise.

"Yes, I'm awake."

"Does your head not hurt? You and Sword Star were drinking fiercely."

"I get drunk quickly and sober up quickly. I'm not much for sleeping in anyway. How about you, Alliance Leader? Is your condition okay?"

"Of course. I'm always fine."

Yet, Dang Seo-rin's voice still sounded hoarse. No surprise there, given she had been chanting spells continuously for 41 minutes on the battlefield and sang heartily at the celebration. Even a singer with vocal cords of steel would have been strained.

"It seems like I’ll soon stop hearing you call me Alliance Leader. A bit sad, isn’t it?"

"Well, the Ten Legs is dead, but who knows what kind of monsters might pop up next. There's a high chance the guild alliance will need to be formed again. You’ll have to be the leader then."

"That so."

Dang Seo-rin quietly looked up at the dawn sky.

"That so..."

I, still not entirely sober, joined her side, half-hoping the blue sky would disinfect the remaining effects of alcohol.

Though it seemed unlikely the sky had such properties, what did it matter?

The day sky takes in people's sweat, and the night sky collects their dreams, while the thoughts they haven't managed to express are taken in by the dawn.

"Look."

The wind beside me spoke.

"Wanna hear what my dream is?"

"I know. It’s to conquer every famous eatery in the world."

"Ah, that’s right. Can't give up on that."

Dang Seo-rin nodded seriously.

"But the dream I'm talking about now is a different one."

A different dream?

I tilted my head, puzzled. Did she have another dream? I had served as the vice-guild leader for Dang Seo-rin from the 4th to the 6th cycle, but had never heard of another dream.

"Oh. Are you perhaps talking about raising three thousand elite guild members to live up to the name of the Samcheon World?"

"Oh. There was that too. What’s with you, Undertaker?"

Dang Seo-rin looked at me as if surprised.

"You always seem so disinterested in others, yet you know so much about me? Are you a fan? Sorry to say, but there’s another dream I’m talking about."

"Then I really don’t know. What is it?"

"Travelling."

Dang Seo-rin slightly lifted her heels and reached out towards the dawn.

Her fingers grasped sharply at the sky.

"I want to travel this ruined world by train."

"By train?"

"Yes. It doesn’t have to be a grand train. Just a junky, single-carriage train that I’ve customized myself."

She hummed as if singing.

"A thing that won’t move unless I take care of it, where I can eat, sleep, travel, and even hang laundry. Like a camper van or a yacht."

"I’m not sure if the rails are still intact. Even the KTX trains we’re using as temporary lodgings in the Samcheon Guild aren't running, are they? The one-lane roads are still managed by the Busan workshops."

"That's okay. Somehow with the mysterious power of magic..."

Dang Seo-rin mimed boxing with a yap yap sound.

"I’ll fix the world's destroyed railways one by one, continuing on. From station to station, always laying pretty rails behind wherever I’ve passed."

"Hmm."

"That’s how it will go, and go, and go… until it can go no more. If it ends at some dilapidated train station at a beach, where only a single station attendant stands alone."

"……."

Dang Seo-rin said no more.

Suddenly feeling an odd sensation, I looked at her face.

It was a strange statement, but she seemed as if she might collapse at any moment.

"Alliance Leader?"

"Hmm."

Dang Seo-rin blinked. She leaned against her broom, which she claimed was a witch's essential item.

Her complexion was the same as usual.

"Undertaker. Why not join my guild and become a vice-guild leader? You know our guild does well. You won’t get another chance like this. You’ll regret it later if you don’t."

"…Are we back to that? I won’t take the pointy hat."

"Really? Then, it can’t be helped."

Dang Seo-rin walked away waving lightly behind her.

"Bye-bye~ I’ll go for a walk and then head back. Don’t follow me; I’ll enjoy some solitude."

"When will you return?"

"Who knows? Maybe in about an hour?"

An hour passed, then two, and Dang Seo-rin did not return.

A search party was dispatched by the guild alliance.

Three hours after her disappearance, Dang Seo-rin was found collapsed on a forest trail.

After that day, Dang Seo-rin never got up again.

"How is the condition of the guild leader of Samcheon?"

"That is… peculiar."

The medical team looked somber.

"Her body's functions overall are deteriorating. We thought it might be a curse, but it’s not. I can only say it’s truly peculiar… I'm sorry to tell you this, but it wouldn’t be surprising if she closed her eyes at any moment."

"I see."

I braced myself and entered the hospital room, one of the few still functioning normally in Korea.

Dang Seo-rin caught my eye as she sat by the window.

She was reading a novel, relying on the wheels of a wheelchair instead of the trains she loved so much.

"……."

"……."

Silence hung in the air.

After about 30 seconds, Dang Seo-rin slammed the novel shut and placed it on her lap.

"Lifespan."

That was the first thing she said after seeing my face in two weeks.

"Lifespan?"

"Yes. That’s really the point, isn’t it? I hate this kind of atmosphere. Let’s get it over with and talk about something else."

Dang Seo-rin shrugged. Her expression and gestures were just like the usual Dang Seo-rin, you wouldn’t believe anything was wrong with her if it weren’t for the wheelchair.

No.

It wasn’t just the wheelchair. The pointed hat hung on a coat rack, and the broom, which wasn't a witch's essential but a cleaning tool, leaned against the wall.

This hospital room felt like an insult to the person that was Dang Seo-rin.

"My magic becomes stronger the more of my lifespan I burn. It’s not just magic, but a power I’ve awakened. Coolly named [Equivalent Exchange]. It’s not a very unfamiliar ability, is it?"

"So…"

"Yeah. Wow, the Ten Legs was really tough. How could such a monster exist? I thought it would die right there when I chanted the 10th melody, but somehow it survived until now. Anyway, it’s not like I’m sick."

I couldn’t easily bring up the words.

It wasn’t because I couldn’t think of anything comforting to say. It was just that I was feeling a profound shock.

‘She had never revealed it before.’

The fact that Dang Seo-rin was a multi-ability Awakener.

Besides her magical abilities, she had the power to temporarily boost her firepower by burning her lifespan.

Even when I had been her second-in-command in the Samcheon Guild, Dang Seo-rin had kept her secret weapon hidden.

Because…

“…Were you thinking of dying in the fight against the Ten Legs anyway?”

"You’re so smart, Undertaker."

Dang Seo-rin nodded crisply.

"To win against such an opponent, one must risk their life. Isn’t that right? You, Sword Star, everyone who participated in the battle, the soldiers and civilian volunteers who supported us. Everyone."

I couldn’t deny her words.

Hadn’t I, too, gambled with my life seven times?

Suddenly, the conversations we had during the cycles came to mind. With the Ten Legs subjugation right before us, she had recited:

-30 minutes. Just hold on for 30 minutes. I’ll set up a grand magic to blow the Ten Legs’ head off.

-Undertaker. Sword Star. Don’t mind the means, just last for 25 minutes… no, 30 minutes.

At that time, Dang Seo-rin must have been prepared for her own death.

Thus, what she really was asking for was this.

-Just hold on for 30 minutes until I die.

But the subjugation of the Ten Legs took 41 minutes.

It must have been a consumption of lifespan far beyond her limits.

"……."

I found it hard to calm my roiling heart.

For me, regression was also a tool to test the potential of others. Most people’s actions and outcomes changed with each cycle. However, some things did not change no matter how many times they regressed.

The strength of mind and firmness of conviction.

Dang Seo-rin had always discussed subjugating the Ten Legs and mentioned 30 minutes without exception in every cycle.

In every cycle, her principle of action to 'sacrifice her own life to annihilate humanity’s enemy' remained unchanged.

“How exactly does Equivalent Exchange work?”

"Ah. When I awakened the ability, it showed that my natural lifespan was 85 years. Then, I just think in my mind, ‘I’ll use up a few years from the remaining 60 years,’ and my firepower automatically enhances."

"So, did you use up over 60 years in the Ten Legs battle?"

"Uh, well, um…."

Dang Seo-rin furrowed her brows.

"That’s really strange."

"Really?"

"Did I tell you? I didn’t expect to last over 30 minutes while chanting Cursed Song Incantation. If my calculations were correct, even reaching the 6th melody was a close call."

Dang Seo-rin rested her chin on her hand.

"The thing with Cursed Song Incantation is, the more melodies that overlap, the more exponentially the required magic power increases. It’s truly exponential. Even if I had used up 60 years of lifespan, reaching the 10th melody should have been impossible."

"But you chanted it just fine."

"Right? Isn’t it strange? Even while I was chanting behind you guys, I was actually thinking, ‘Why is this working? How is this working?’ and had lots of question marks floating around."

"……."

"I was sweating bullets."

That’s when it happened.

An odd premonition, different from anxiety or ominousness but similar in sensation, spread up from my back.

"Alliance Leader. Then, how many years of lifespan did you exactly use up during the Ten Legs battle?"

"Huh? I was too out of it to count every year. Let’s see…."

"…Perhaps about 250 years?"

"Oh."

Dang Seo-rin nodded.

"Right. Not exactly sure, but definitely more than 200 years and certainly less than 300. Roughly 250 years. How did you know?"

An electric current surged through me, a realization dawning.

For instance. Suppose, hypothetically, that the lifespan Dang Seo-rin hadn’t used ‘carries over to the next cycle’?

I don’t know how Dang Seo-rin met her end from the 1st to the 3rd cycle. She probably fought against the Ten Legs then, too, but without Old Man Scho and me, even if she entered the battle, the squad would have been annihilated within five minutes.

Dang Seo-rin would have died before she could even start her Cursed Song Incantation.

Dang Seo-rin’s natural lifespan was 85 years.

Removing her current age from that, and excluding the lifespan she spent here and there outside of the Ten Legs battle, she would have about 45 years left.

In other words.

From the 1st to the 5th cycle, where the Ten Legs battle hadn’t properly taken place, Dang Seo-rin inadvertently left about 40~45 years per cycle.

From the 6th cycle, when Old Man Scho joined, the pace of the Ten Legs battles picked up. That allowed Dang Seo-rin to leisurely use up her lifespan.

An extra 10 years, 15 years, 20 years.

Dang Seo-rin’s lifespans gradually ‘accumulated’.

Thus, by the 10th cycle, she had unwittingly saved up 250 years in an account called lifespan.

‘If this hypothesis is true...’

During the past cycles, the lifespans Dang Seo-rin had saved up were unfortunately all used up in this 10th cycle.

But my regression didn’t end with the 10th cycle. It would continue on. And depending on the situation, it was unclear how much lifespan Dang Seo-rin could save.

‘If it’s saved up to 500 years? 1000 years, 2000 years?’

I couldn’t contain my tremors.

"Guild Leader."

"Yes?"

I inadvertently called Dang Seo-rin ‘Guild Leader’ as I used to. She didn’t seem to notice anything unusual, tilting her head as usual.

"What?"

"I have something important to tell you."

That I’m a regressor.

Maybe your lifespan accumulates with each cycle.

"That’s amazing!"

Throughout hearing my theory, Dang Seo-rin was intrigued, surprised, and her eyes sparkled.

"Undertaker, were you actually my lackey?"

"Is that what you’re surprised about…?"

"Of course! What else should I be shocked by? Wow, I was amazing in other cycles, too. My eyes weren’t wrong. You really suit the pointed hat. Look here, Undertaker. Won’t you be my witchy friend?"

What on earth is a witchy friend?

"Didn’t you consider the possibility that my words might be a lie?"

"Why would I think about that? We’re comrades. If you say you’re a regressor, then you must be."

Dang Seo-rin chuckled lightly while coughing.

The sound of her cough thinly spread her remaining lifespan into the air.

"Anyway, you and I have similar dreams."

"Really?"

"We’re both fixing the broken rails in this world, one by one. The rails destroyed by the Ten Legs. The abandoned lines broken by other monsters. If we fix them step by step, eventually tracks will connect from one station to another, and other people can follow that path too."

"……."

"Not bad."

Even if I didn’t have [Complete Memory], I would have never forgotten the words I heard that day.

Dang Seo-rin grinned.

"And it’s ironic. I can’t walk the rails with you, but at least my lifespan will follow you at the same pace. I can’t be with you alive, but in death, we are companions."

Dang Seo-rin kept a smile to the end as she reached out her hand.

The novel on her lap slid off. The white pages, which never became wings and were tied up in a suit, unfurled partially on the floor.

Dang Seo-rin's eyes shone brightly.

Her five fingers gripped my forearm. The person who lost parents and siblings to a monster, the one who couldn’t stop loving trains, held onto my arm.

Strongly.

"Don’t waste my lifespan, use it well, Undertaker."

"……."

"It took up to the 10th melody to defeat the Ten Legs. That’s too much of a waste. You need to become stronger."

So it was.

"I shouldn’t excessively burn my lifespan with Cursed Song Incantation. It’s just a hunch, but I feel like it won’t be enough. Those creatures might be stronger. Not 250 years, but 500 years, 1000 years might be necessary. My lifespan needs to be accumulated as much as possible to prepare for the monsters that will appear after the Ten Legs."

So it was.

"And if possible, don’t reveal to the next cycle's me that you’re a regressor. I’m too greedy, too selfish. I can never think in terms of ‘sacrificing this cycle for the next one.’ If I knew that lifespans could be saved up for hundreds of years, I would definitely use it all up now. Until the very, very last moment, try to guide it so that my lifespan continues to accumulate."

So it was.

"And in other cycles, always try to become my vice-guild leader."

That did not happen.

Dang Seo-rin laughed brightly.

"Looking forward to it. My companion in time."

That night, Dang Seo-rin died.

Her remains were scattered at the beach.

It wasn’t easy to fulfill her will.

I grew stronger, and the Ten Legs no longer forced me to struggle. The need for Dang Seo-rin to chant during battles against the Ten Legs disappeared.

But even after the Ten Legs vanished, formidable enemies continued to appear, and Dang Seo-rin always stood at the forefront.

She was always at the forefront. The ends of the damaged tracks were always her destination.

Supporting her, who frequently sought to use up her lifespan, was more difficult than anticipated.

Once, a disaster occurred where all the lifespans were reset.

Of course, it was just a mistake.

Now, over 1000 cycles later, by my calculations, Dang Seo-rin's lifespan has accumulated tens of thousands of years.

At least over 30,000 years of lifespan.

‘How far could she sing if she started now?’

Sometimes, while drinking coffee, I get lost in such imaginations.

Envisioning Dang Seo-rin singing on some battlefield.

The 1st melody, the 2nd, the 3rd... No matter how long it goes on and overlaps, her song never ends and eventually spreads beyond the horizon, reaching all the beaches where the world’s tracks connect.

Eventually, Dang Seo-rin would arrive at some coast she had longed for. Wearing a pointed hat, holding a staff, aboard a single-carriage train.

While I hope to hear that song someday, I also secretly wish that day never comes.

In recent cycles, whenever Dang Seo-rin happens to meet me, she asks, just like when we first met in the 4th cycle, in exactly the same way.

"Undertaker. Don’t you want to join my guild? I can offer you the position of vice-guild leader."

Then I smile lightly and respond.

"I won’t join."

It can’t be helped.

The pointed hat doesn’t suit me, does it, guild Leader?

Footnotes:

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