I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Saintess's 'broadcast voice' resonated. For reference, the Saintess was not in Seoul but hiding nearby. After forming an alliance with her, I had quickly brought her along on my back.

[The most efficient path is to travel from Busan to Jeju Island, then from Jeju Island to Japan.]

The Saintess hid from Oh Dok-seo's view, reading from the script I dictated. I kept moving my lips so subtly that Oh Dok-seo wouldn't notice. During this time, the Saintess used [Time Stop] to decode the minute movements of my lips.

Script: Undertaker. Voice: Saintess. 

In some sense, it was a more classical form of broadcast than the internet—more like a program created by producers and writers.

Through the Saintess's voice and my script, we gave instructions to Oh Dok-seo.

[The first obstacle is securing a boat from Busan to Jeju Island. This is problematic.]

[At this point, the Examination Bureau's anomalies haven't spawned yet, and even if they had, Jeju Island is part of Korea, making their use invalid.]

[If your aura was sufficiently advanced, you could show your mastery of levitation, but it's still early in the game. Demanding such high-level skills from your character is unreasonable.]

[It would take over ten years just to train on the Korean Peninsula.]

[But don't worry.]

[In a speedrun, safe passage by boat is a luxury. Instead of boarding a boat, let's reverse our thinking and drift to Jeju Island.]

“What?”

Oh Dok-seo was startled. But as a character in the game, she had no free will.

[Now, if you follow this path, you'll find a half-destroyed library in Yeongdo. Despite its condition, the Yeongdo Library is relatively intact.]

[In the location I specify, you'll find a book titled <Hamel's Journal>.]

[Put that book in your backpack and dive into the sea.]

“What?”

Oh Dok-seo looked around, confused. She couldn't see me. I was watching her from a considerable distance, hidden in the shadows of the ruins. The Saintess (through me) murmured softly.

[Jump into the sea.]

“......”

[There's a life jacket and a wooden board there. Equip them and jump.]

“…Aaaah!”

Splash.

The sea off the coast of Busan swallowed the self-proclaimed 'book possessor.'

“It's so cold! It's fucking freezing!”

[The character is complaining noisily. Let's ignore it.]

[Some viewers might know, but Hamel was originally a Dutchman headed to Japan when his shipwrecked. He drifted to Jeju Island due to ocean currents. Since our final destination is Japan, Hamel’s journey aligns with ours.]

“Hic! The waves! The waves! Help! I’m drowning!”

[There's a reason I chose 'book possessor' Oh Dok-seo for this playthrough. She has red hair.]

[In the past, Koreans called Westerners 'Red-Haired Demons' because their hair and beards were red.]

“Help! I'm dying! Mister! I'm going to die for real!”

[Don't worry.]

[Oh Dok-seo's personal color is perfectly suited for becoming a Red-Haired Demon.]

[Plus, with <Hamel's Journal> in her backpack, all the ocean currents will help her reach Jeju Island.]

[Based on numerous tests, the probability of early-stage Oh Dok-seo drifting safely to Jeju Island is a whopping 81%.]

“What? Wait! What about the other 19%—Ahh! The waves! The waves! Ahhhh!”

Oh Dok-seo screamed. I leisurely walked on the water, following her from a distance. I intended to rescue her if necessary, but she was excessively frightened. Tsk, tsk. Shortly after, Oh Dok-seo was washed ashore on Jeju Island.

“Ugh… Ugh…”

[As expected, she successfully reached Jeju Island in just 31 minutes and 14 seconds.]

[In this game, the sea is far more dangerous than the land. There are still deep-sea anomalies without proper guides.]

[But even a novice who has just cleared the tutorial can cross the sea easily by using character traits and items. Easy, right?]

“Easy? My ass! Ugh… Bleh!”

[No time to waste. Take minimal rest and move immediately.]

“Ugh, I hate this…”

While Oh Dok-seo suffered from motion sickness, I quickly ran to Seongsan Ilchulbong to retrieve the 'Monkey's Paw.' The anomaly had once endangered both Kuro and me, and specifically threatened my hair roots. Sim Ah-ryeon's healing ability couldn't cure my hair loss, which had been quite distressing.

It was a troublesome anomaly, but the 'Total Luck Law' was crucial for this mission. It had to be collected here.

[Did you know?]

[After drifting to Jeju Island and being captured by Koreans, Hamel managed to escape after 13 years.]

[He fled to none other than Japan, our destination.]

[Normally, the cooldown for <Hamel's Journal> is 13 years, but...]

[As you know, the 'Logout Game' is a bug-ridden game. Naturally, there's an exploit here too.]

I threw a piece of charcoal to Oh Dok-seo without her noticing. Still dizzy from seasickness, she noticed it belatedly.

“Huh…? Pencil lead? What am I supposed to do with this?”

[Prisoners in the past scratched marks on walls to keep track of their imprisonment.]

[Oh Dok-seo, you’re now occupying the position of 'a prisoner in Joseon.' Enter any enclosed room and start writing.]

Oh Dok-seo entered the ruins of a house I had scouted earlier. She went down to the basement without windows, locked the door, and started writing on the wall with the charcoal.

正正正正正正正正正正

正正正正正正正正正正

正正正正正正正正正正

正正正正正正正正正正

正正正正正正正正正正

TL/N: 正 is a way to count in East Asia. 正 = 5.

The Saintess’s voice flowed.

[Hamel was imprisoned for about 13 years. No need to account for leap years.]

[365 days times 13. 4,745. Divide that by 5, you get 949.]

[Write the character for '正' 949 times in this enclosed 'prison' space.]

Not long after.

The charcoal broke. Oh Dok-seo’s fingers were blackened with charcoal dust.

“Done… Finally…”

[Well done. Now <Hamel's Journal> considers you to have spent 13 years in captivity.]

“Wow… How did you figure out such a strategy?”

[This exploit works only for traveling to Jeju Island and Japan. If your aura level is high enough, you won’t need it.]

[But for now, this is the fastest way.]

We walked out of the house and saw a small boat on the beach that hadn’t been there before.

“Ugh. I don’t know how to row. Is it okay?”

[It's fine. This boat will safely reach Japan no matter what.]

“Damn it, this feels unreliable…”

Oh Dok-seo rowed the boat and safely landed in Japan. Of course, 'safely' meant arriving with all her limbs intact.

“Ugh…”

[Arrived in Japan in 59 minutes.]

“I swear… I’m never getting on a boat again…”

[Now we will farm the 'Hate Pill.']

The Saintess casually dismissed Oh Dok-seo’s lament. For the record, the Saintess comfortably crossed the strait on my back. The Saintess’s [Clairvoyance] had a 1,000 km range limit. To provide stable navigation services to Oh Dok-seo, she had to move along.

[The 'Hate Pill' can be found in various places across Japan.]

[The nearest location is Sasebo in Nagasaki Prefecture.]

[There's a naval port on this city's coast. It's not a human naval port but an anomaly's, making this entire area a void.]

[But if you follow my guidance, you can safely reach the command center. Trust me.]

I quietly dealt with any anomalies that tried to attack Oh Dok-seo along the way. She reached the command center safely. As she opened the door, she gasped.

“Ah!”

She was horrified by the scene inside.

“What… What is this…?”

The Saintess and I spoke calmly.

[These are the ends of protagonist characters who committed suicide in despair stories.]

Inside the command center, dozens, if not hundreds, of dolls hung from the ceiling. Some wore white admiral uniforms, some medieval knight armor, others wore suits reminiscent of people in the entertainment industry. These were anomalies of characters called 'Commander,' 'Knight,' 'Producer,' 'Director,' 'Teacher,' 'Trainer,' etc., in various games. We had learned about this place back in the 590th cycle through the Magical Girl Association.

Dangle-dangle—

The mannequin-like anomalies swayed in front of Oh Dok-seo.

“Eek!”

[All these characters took the 'Hate Pill' and couldn’t endure the hatred from those around them, leading to their deaths.]

“It's so scary… This place is terrifying…”

[Of course, they aren't real humans. These are merely anomalies derived from creative works and parodies.]

[Since they are considered dead, they can't affect living humans. Now, approach the nearest doll and open its mouth.]

“Open… Its mouth?”

[Do it.]

“Ugh…”

Oh Dok-seo tearfully opened a doll's mouth. I, hidden in the shadows, opened another doll's mouth. Inside the mannequin's mouth, on its tongue, lay a bright red pill—the 'Hate Pill.' I collected two pills. One for me, and one for the Saintess.

[Now, take the pill.]

Gulp.

Oh Dok-seo, the Saintess, and I simultaneously swallowed the 'Hate Pill.' Then I took out the 'Monkey's Paw' from my pocket. This was why I had collected it in Jeju Island.

Whispering softly, I addressed the furry hand.

“Monkey's Paw, Monkey's Paw. Grant my wish.”

-......

The Monkey's Paw trembled. My wish was as follows:

1. Bring all sorts of 'misfortune' to Oh Dok-seo, the Saintess, and me ('us'). Specifically, make everyone who meets us hate us.

2. Limit the misfortune to us as much as possible. That is, do not involve others in our misfortune.

3. The reaction to our 'misfortune,' that is, 'luck,' should activate only when we desire.

The Monkey's Paw twitched violently.

-Ukikik, kik.

Its reaction was bizarre, as if it had never expected a human to make such a wish. The fur bristled sharply. This was the 'correct use of the Total Luck Law' that I had reached after countless experiments.

It might sound paradoxical, but wishing for lottery-winning luck was pointless with the Monkey's Paw. The opposite approach was necessary.

-Please ensure all lottery tickets I buy are losers.

Misfortune.

Accumulating manageable misfortunes, one by one, as if they were natural. What would happen then? The more misfortune I endured, the more the 'Total Luck Law' would strive to balance it with equivalent luck. When the moment of absolute necessity arrived, the accumulated misfortune would be converted into luck.

If the Monkey's Paw tried to exert its power to create negative consequences for the wisher—

I would harness those negative consequences from the start, ensuring that eventually, they brought me luck.

-Ukikikik.

The Monkey's Paw trembled, trying to resist my wish, but it was futile. An anomaly could not deny its essence. Thus, it had to submit to the human wishing for misfortune instead of luck. Denying its essence would lead to its own destruction.

-Ukikikikik.

Shuddering.

Ultimately, the Monkey's Paw vanished into thin air. My wish was granted. Simultaneously.

[…Ah.]

The Saintess gasped slightly, in a voice only I could hear.

[Indeed… Manipulating people's emotions this way…]

“How do you feel, Saintess? Do I seem hateful to you?”

[…Yes. If you hadn’t explained beforehand, it might have been challenging to endure.]

The Saintess took a deep breath. Since this cycle had just begun, her favorability towards me wasn't high. Therefore, the reversal effect of the 'Hate Pill' wasn't significant. The Saintess, with her strong willpower, could withstand it.

But what about others?

Now, everyone we met would feel an inexplicable aversion towards us. This aversion would grow. They would hinder us, undermine us, and constantly try to devalue our achievements. It wouldn't be a happy journey.

As time passed, misfortune would pile up for Oh Dok-seo and me.

[…By taking the Hate Pill, the difficulty of this game has drastically increased.]

[However, in exchange for raising the difficulty ourselves, we will receive absolute luck at a crucial moment. And we can choose when to activate this luck.]

Indeed.

From now on, Oh Dok-seo, the Saintess, and I—the character, the player, and the streamer, three personas in one—would move in perfect harmony. Together, we would endure misfortune, accumulate the weight of misfortune, and when the decisive moment arrived, when the detestable [Admin of the Infinite Metagame] appeared—

[We will convert all our misfortune into luck.]

“……”

Oh Dok-seo swallowed hard. Hidden in the darkness, the Saintess and I exchanged a silent look.

[This is how we will defeat a god.]

Footnotes:

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