I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Before Noh Do-hwa’s muttering even finished, screams erupted from the bunker.

My comrades pointed at me, horrified, like VIP cultists witnessing Cthulhu’s descent firsthand.

-Undertaker! It's the Undertaker!

-The Three Kingdoms entity has appeared!

-Disgusting...! I hate it so much! Just watching him makes me want to rip off my earlobes...!

My comrades kept screaming endlessly.

For this moment, I had stocked water bottles near the bunker entrance. My comrades, as if entranced, picked up the bottles and hurled them at me.

Amidst the heartwarming sight of water bottles flying everywhere, I alone wore a warm smile.

‘Just as planned.’

It was an inevitable outcome.

Originally, what effect did the 'Savior' syndrome have? It pushed everyone’s affection for me to the extreme, beyond their limits.

And the 'Hate Pill' was an elixir that engraved a reversal technique on any affection felt towards the consumer.

The affection the Savior Syndrome maximized had now completely flipped to the negative!

In other words.

‘My misfortune has descended here and now.’

It may be redundant, but I cared deeply for my comrades.

Being hated by such adorable people was as tragic as hearing grandchildren say, 'Grandpa, you stink!'

-Hyung! No, Undertaker! Please die!

-I can’t believe I once called someone like you 'oppa'. My past self is disgraceful.

-No, technically Ha-yul, you never called me that. You can’t speak, remember? That was your puppet speaking.

-I’ve hated that illegally employed guard from the start!

-Terrible.

Seeing Dang Seo-rin looking at me with such hatred felt like being repeatedly stabbed in the heart.

“Ahh.”

Are you watching, Total Luck Law?

This is the technique of a skilled regressor, the way to utilize anomalies.

No matter how much you wait to gift me misfortune as Santa Alter, if I preemptively harvest enormous misfortune myself, you’re just another unemployed Finn in the post-COVID era.

If a regressor decides to make themselves miserable, what can a mere anomaly like you do?

End the world? Hah. Is that really worse than Dang Seo-rin’s genuine look of disdain?

Dismemberment? I doubt it. Even now, the Saintess is repeatedly using the 'pause' and 'play' buttons on time to chop at my neck with a hatchet.

Incurable disease? Ridiculous. Cheon Yo-hwa is pulling out hourglasses filled with ghosts from Baekhwa High School, ready to break their seals. Actually, that’s quite dangerous.

I quickly ran over and knocked Cheon Yo-hwa unconscious.

As I got closer, my former comrades convulsed and trembled even more.

-Die! Die! Please, just die already!

-You useless bastard who failed to save the world hundreds of times! Incompetent! Because of you, people around the world are dying again and again! Punish him!

To understand their reaction, imagine a 2-meter cockroach approaching you.

Currently, I was the reverse-Go Yuri from their perspective.

An entity that elicits extreme hatred no matter what I do, as opposed to the devil who invariably gains affection. In other words, an angel who absolutely invokes revulsion.

Universal self-regard.

‘Is this... the view that pink entity always had of the world?’

So contemptible and trivial.

“Dok-seo, are you watching?”

“Yeah! Even though I hate it when you call me by my name, I’m okay! I still recognize this as an anomaly. But can’t I at least break one of your fingers?”

“That would be difficult. I didn’t train my comrades too strongly this cycle for this very reason.”

“You’re truly remarkable, old man! I respect you! I hate you! So, could you please stop breathing? Sharing the same air with you is horrifying.”

“Hey. Don’t be swayed by an anomaly. Focus on the truth. You’re destined to save the world.”

“Damn it, a regressor and a book possessor together, ruining everything...”

Noh Do-hwa cursed as she fiddled with her smartphone.

Even amidst the chaos at the National Road Management Corps headquarters, Noh Do-hwa remained the same.

Her attitude towards others didn’t change despite the affection reversal. This proved her true character—she always treated others, especially me, like a rat’s cousin.

“Haa...”

Thud. Noh Do-hwa put down her phone.

Then, she threw the pile of papers stacked on the table.

The dull-colored papers (recycled paper due to resource scarcity) fluttered in the air.

“How long are you going to show off your power here? Let’s go...”

“What? Go where?”

“I don’t know, damn it. The Saintess just sent a group chat quest to all the awakened. She said the Undertaker has fallen and is massacring humans indiscriminately, and all awakened should unite to eliminate him. You didn’t get the message, did you? Outcast...”

“Ah.”

“Just now, SG Net is flooded with announcements. [Nameless Constellation], [Librarian of the Great Library], [Admin of the Infinite Metagame], [Morning Star of the Second Coming], [Collector of All Anomalies]... They're all banding together to crush you, forming a nationwide coalition...”

As Noh Do-hwa spoke, I saw Seo Kyu and Sim Ah-ryeon tapping their smartphones furiously at the end of the line.

It seemed the Saintess, realizing that physical attacks were ineffective against me, had immediately called for reinforcements. She was sitting with her eyes closed and hands clasped, clearly using [Telepathy].

“Fuck, I hate this world. Let’s just go...”

“Okay.”

“I mean it, fucker. I’m quitting.”

I wore the expression of Liu Bei hearing that Zhuge Liang wanted to retire to farming. If you leave, this country will collapse!

“Do I care? Let it fall. Hey, Ji-won, deputy.”

“Yes?”

“You’re the next head of the National Road Management Corps.”

What.

“I’m not doing a handover. Figure it out yourself. If you’re not a complete idiot, you’ll manage. And don’t look for me if I disappear...”

“Ah! Thank you, sir!”

This was unbelievable.

I was shocked. Yu Ji-won had finally risen to the head of the National Road Management Corps!

If this story’s protagonist were Yu Ji-won instead of me, the Undertaker, it would be an epic of a convenience store worker climbing the ranks to the highest guild in Korea, becoming the president in the 590th cycle.

Was this real? It was.

While I shivered at the psychopath’s success story, Noh Do-hwa was packing something into a trunk.

Aside from a few clothes, she didn’t pack much.

Noh Do-hwa was always ready to part ways with her job. She kept her personal tools and daily necessities in her trunk.

Unlike most workers who only thought about quitting, she actually handed in her resignation.

Noh Do-hwa grabbed the trunk handle and looked at me disdainfully.

“What are you doing...? I said let’s go.”

“Hmm.”

“Your eyes are asking ‘where,’ huh... Well. First, we need to leave the Korean Peninsula. We need to get out of the Saintess’s [Clairvoyance] range to evade the pursuers...”

I couldn’t answer right away.

It was somewhat surprising.

I had expected Noh Do-hwa to also be affected by the 'Hate Pill' and curse me.

But Noh Do-hwa was fine. More than fine.

‘Is it because her affection for me wasn’t high enough to notice a reversal?’

Or was it because she always scolded and cursed at me so much that I couldn’t see a difference?

Either way, I wasn’t sure.

This was my first time using the 'Hate Pill' in the 590th cycle.

My standard method of dealing with anomalies was to figure out how to counter them through repeated regressions. The 'Hate Pill' needed more research.

For that research, Noh Do-hwa, who seemed immune to the 'Hate Pill’s' effects, was a valuable sample.

“Aren’t you coming? If not, I’m going to hide on a remote island...”

“No, wait. Let’s go together. Hawaii is too far; how about Saipan or Guam?”

“Saipan? Hmm...”

“Yes. If something happens in Korea, I can quickly come back across the sea to check.”

“A resort, huh... Every place in this world is a mess, but at least the mood will be different. Alright...”

“Dok-seo, are you coming too?”

Oh Dok-seo grinned.

“No way! Old man, drown in the sea! Oh, but I do want to see you die, so it’d be nice if you died in front of me!”

Indeed, I was unfortunate.

The decision to resign as president and travel to Saipan was made on the spot.

If Noh Do-hwa had been an American, Air Force One would have come to pick up the just-resigned former president, but unfortunately, the USA had fallen before accepting Korea as the 51st state.

So we had to travel to Saipan on our own.

The reporters trying to follow us made for an equally grand procession.

-There he is! He’s escaping!

-The ideological betrayal by Comrade Secretary can only be met with fury! The only way to maintain ideological purity is to punish the traitor! Guillotine!

-Wait! Cease fire! He’s taking the head of the National Road Management Corps hostage!

-What?

-That vile terrorist! Release the head immediately!

Escaping wasn’t easy for me either.

First, the Sword Marquess blocked my way. He, who had sparred with me for 101 rounds in the first year, now extended the fight beyond 200 rounds.

“Undertaker! How could you stray from the path and fall into the demonic way! Watching a former friend fall into evil is as painful as a heartbreak!”

“Actually, the closest thing to the demonic way in this cycle is you...”

While the Sword Marquess bought time, the other awakeners didn’t just sit around. They actively caused chaos.

“Ah—Ah—Ah—Ah—”

First, Dang Seo-rin started singing. This was the biggest problem, so I fled before the fifth note.

“Did you miss me, senior?”

And Cheon Yo-hwa (千謠話) finally released Cheon Yo-hwa (天寥化). The Infinite Void, possessing Cheon Yo-hwa, spread her unique barrier around Busan.

For reference, the way to distinguish the two was by how they addressed me. Yo-hwa called me 'teacher,' while Infinite Void called me 'senior.'

[Die.]

Ha-yul’s puppet strings tightened around my neck from all directions.

The Korean Peninsula, especially Busan, was covered in Ha-yul’s webs. To prepare for invasions by anomalies, she had protected Busan both by land and sea.

If her defenses could block invasions, they could certainly prevent escapes.

The Saintess’s [Clairvoyance] and [Telepathy] continuously assisted the awakened.

“Wow.”

I was impressed by the strength of the Korean Peninsula that I had built.

If Sim Ah-ryeon had leveled up to the Northern Holy State through Zero Requiem, I might have died. Thankfully, the aliens built the Great Wall this cycle.

With the Sword Marquess’s sword strikes, Dang Seo-rin’s singing, Cheon Yo-hwa’s barrier, Ha-yul’s web, and the Saintess’s backup, even I struggled to escape unscathed.

In the end, I had to sacrifice my left foot to escape. Half of my lower body was now Ha-yul’s 50% version.

I didn’t mind. With the world’s strongest prosthetics engineer as my companion, even this small 'misfortune' would benefit me.

“Are you seriously breaking through...? You really are crazy...”

Noh Do-hwa, on my back, muttered incredulously.

Even amidst the chaos, she remained unscathed.

“If I had more time, I would’ve used the Inspection Bureau anomaly, but it can’t be helped. We’ll cross the sea to Saipan.”

“It’s already soaking wet. Can’t you avoid the waves a bit more...?”

“The waves were just born, but I’m over ten thousand years old. They should avoid me.”

“Haa...”

We successfully broke through the front lines.

For a while, we sailed through the open sea.

I boarded the Savoia S-21, a seaplane I had stationed on Tsushima Island. I had used it during my strategy against Cheon Yo-hwa and Infinite Void.

Before long, we landed in Saipan, a former resort destination.

-Ukikik.

Somewhere, mixed with the sound of waves, I thought I heard the laughter of monkeys.

Footnotes:

Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried