I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The stories about Mo Gwang-seo and the actions of his followers described in this chapter were embellished by about 50% with my imagination. I had reconstructed the events from various testimonies rather than witnessing them firsthand.

Why didn't I care?

'I'm too busy to deal with cults.'

Frankly, they weren't worth my attention.

The situation was different with New Buddha, which was also a heresy. Although similar in using anomalies for faith, New Buddha's Udumbara posed a direct threat to human civilization.

Moreover, New Buddha was hostile towards Awakeners. Immediate action was necessary.

But the Resurrection Church?

"Awakeners? What does that matter now? Jesus has resurrected!"

"Amen!"

"The end has come. Brothers and sisters, repent now and board the ark of salvation designed by our leader."

"You! You look like a kind person who must be saved!"

Aside from occasionally encountering evangelists on the street, they weren't particularly harmful. And street evangelism was already a side quest encountered on the way to work in South Korea before the apocalypse.

As a regressor, I had far more important main quests to worry about.

The more crucial fact was that the Resurrection Church also had its own main quest.

- Everyone! I will pave the path so you can ascend. You must also help others.

During his lifetime, before transforming into a Resurrection Anomaly, Mo Gwang-seo targeted a unique sales point in the religious market of the Korean Peninsula.

- But where do you think your help is most urgently needed?

- Hmm? ...Yeouido?

- No! It's North Korea!

- What.

He advocated the Northern Evangelism Theory.

- Jesus said to go out into the roads and compel people to come in, so that my house may be filled. Why did He say to compel them? Was He telling us to drag unbaptized people into the church by force?

- Absolutely not. There are those who forcefully block the path and fence off the sheep who would normally respond to the shepherd’s call. They are evil Satanic demons. These are the Antichrists we must forcefully oppose.

- The unbaptized brothers and sisters in North Korea are not at fault. The grave sin lies with the Kim family, who have erected iron fences and barriers against them. Since the Korean Peninsula was split, the 'path' was cut off, and 'fences' were erected. Jesus commands us to restore the weeping path and the bloody fence with your steps.

- Ah, brothers and sisters! We do not tread this difficult path out of pride or to show off. We believe that other brothers will guide the sheep through easier fields, and we take this arduous path of evangelism out of faith and love for them.

- So let the lightning of faith break down Satan's wall and let our steps reach their fingertips as soon as possible, Amen.

Mo Gwang-seo’s Northern Evangelism Theory was quite well-received among his followers. More precisely, those who responded to it joined his congregation.

In truth, the Northern Evangelism Theory was just another ‘diplomatic’ phrase Mo Gwang-seo had devised.

If understood literally as a call to march north to spread the doctrine, both Mo Gwang-seo and the JSA guards would be at a loss. As a citizen of a democratic country, Mo Gwang-seo had merely presented a 'promise' to the electorate.

But as mentioned before, the root of all evil lay with the anomalies that did not have a translator installed in their brains. In this case, it was the Ten Legs.

"The barbed wire fence has fallen!"

Ten Legs was highly responsive to gatherings of over 300 people.

Having concluded that Korean humans were quite palatable, the Ten Legs became interested in similar meat. The military camps in North Korea, where the distinction between prison and barracks was becoming blurred, looked like Michelin 1-star fusion restaurants to the Ten Legs.

“Ah! Chairman Mo Gwang-seo, no, Jesus’s prophecy has been proven again!”

“The fist of fire has broken the fence, now it is time to spread the gospel!”

“Let’s go, brothers! To North Korea!”

The Resurrection Church really did ‘march north.’

After absorbing various cults across the country into their congregation, they trained them and continually sent their followers marching north.

This new crusade continued its advance even as the national army was decimated.

If you wondered why a crusade appeared on the Korean Peninsula instead of Jerusalem, you either didn't study history enough or were influenced by Occidentalism. Pyongyang was originally known as the Jerusalem of the East.

“March north!”

“God wills it!”

Kaesong, Kumchon, Pongsan, Sariwon.

North Korea's major strongholds were liberated one by one. The Korean Peninsula undoubtedly had a terrain that favored volunteer soldiers over regular troops.

The Crusade’s success was simple. The Resurrection Church treated the Ten Legs that broke the armistice line as ‘Apostle of God,’ and followed behind them after they devoured the North Korean army.

In a sense, the Resurrection Church’s followers were among the humans most adept at surviving the apocalypse. Their leader was an anomaly. Their vanguard was an anomaly. Undoubtedly, few groups utilized anomalies as effectively as they did.

And finally.

"Look over there!"

"It's Pyongyang! We’ve finally arrived!"

"Ah... The Lord's light fills the Jerusalem of the East."

Pyongyang was liberated!

The followers were thrilled. Besides Gung Ye, what other religious figure since Dangun had achieved such a feat?

Of course, the so-called Jerusalem of the East was devoid of the Lord's light. The only church in Pyongyang, Jangchung Cathedral, had long been in ruins. There were hardly any people left.

—The҉re҉'s҉ some҉thing҉ ҉co҉ming҉!

In fact, they were disappearing in real-time.

The North Korean regime had prepared for a final soul-staking battle to defend Pyongyang. And as you might guess from the past tense, they had been utterly annihilated.

There were even some Chinese troops in Pyongyang. Their minds had abruptly reverted to the 1950s upon hearing the intel that liberation forces from the south were advancing north.

That's right. Although they sometimes forgot, Pyongyang and Beijing were blood allies.

So they bled together.

—Gu҉a҉h҉҉!

The Ten Legs roared. Ten Legs was super strong, the strongest among anomalies.

With its tentacles reminiscent of Cthulhu, the Ten Legs burrowed effortlessly through the underground bedrock, rendering bunkers meaningless.

The leadership of the North Korean regime, the generals of the North Korean army, and most importantly, the North Korean soldiers and Pyongyang citizens, all departed to meet Mr. Marx.

Even the Chinese People's Liberation Army troops from Manchuria realized they might have misinterpreted the intel. The Ten Legs liked East Asians too much to be an imperialist vanguard.

At that moment.

As North Koreans perished, Chinese despaired, and South Koreans who had just arrived in Pyongyang screamed.

Step.

Mo Gwang-seo walked out.

“Chairman!”

A follower shouted. The followers who had followed Mo Gwang-seo even before he performed the miracle of resurrection still used the old title 'Chairman' to flaunt their sense of privilege.

“Jesus!”

The belated converts also shouted. Mo Gwang-seo had walked at the forefront throughout the crusade march. Seeing such an esteemed person walk towards that terrifying monster! Even if the Ten Legs was apostles of God, it was natural to worry.

“What the hell is that bastard?”

The North Koreans also shouted. The Chinese were no different. It was a normal reaction.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, or Chairman Jesus bastard, Mo Gwang-seo walked.

With a squelch, Mo Gwang-seo was skewered by one of the numerous tentacles of the Ten Legs.

“Chairman!”

“Oh Lord! Lord!”

It was as predictable as the law of gravity, yet the Resurrection Church’s followers were horrified. How could this be! The Ten Legs were indeed apostles of God, but it turned out their name was Judas Iscariot.

This was why one should always confirm the true name before summoning a servant. The Resurrection Church’s followers seemed to be paying the price for ignoring an old proverb.

As everyone either burst into tears or looked at the crying people with confusion, wondering 'What the hell are they doing?'

Flash—

There was light again.

—GRu҉a҉h҉!

The light radiated from the tentacle of the Ten Legs. The city, amidst a massacre, was momentarily enveloped in a white glow.

Ten Legs spat Mo Gwang-seo out as if it had bitten into a shell while eating fresh oysters.

By the time the light subsided, all the humans participating in the urban warfare saw Mo Gwang-seo's halo.

“......”

“......”

The battlefield fell silent.

Smirk.

Mo Gwang-seo, the Resurrection Anomaly who monopolized the gaze of tens of thousands, just smiled kindly, unchanged.

—Grrrr…

And a miracle occurred.

Ten Legs that had bitten and spat out Mo Gwang-seo turned its back.

Perhaps in human language, it would translate to 'I wouldn't come to this tasteless restaurant even if you paid me,' but just as anomalies didn’t have human translators, humans didn’t have anomaly translators either.

Thud, thud... The massive figure of the Ten Legs gradually receded. A moment ago, the faces of the North Korean soldiers and the Chinese soldiers, who had been ready to be annihilated, were now filled with astonishment and awe.

What had just happened?

“Hallelujah!”

The Resurrection Church’s followers provided the answer to their question.

“Jesus has defeated the Apostle of God!”

“Ah, compatriots! Praise the Lord! He has affirmed our crusade!”

“It’s a miracle, a miracle!”

The Chinese troops didn’t understand the Koreans' excitement. But the North Koreans did.

Through the North Korean officers' translation, the Chinese soldiers also understood the Resurrection Church followers' cries.

The few remaining soldiers and citizens' eyes changed.

Coincidentally, that day was Saturday, and the next day, the Resurrection Church held a special ‘mass.’ Even disbelievers who were still skeptical of Mo Gwang-seo's miracle attended the live concert to see how amazing it was.

The mass ended.

That day, Pyongyang was reclaimed as the Jerusalem of Joseon.

The Eastern Holy State.

It was the name of the new country established in the ruins of Pyongyang.

Although not internationally recognized, it was no less competitive. The previous regime was similar anyway.

Now, North Korea was Rome itself. Though too far east to be called Eastern Rome, it didn’t matter.

Naturally, the capital was Pyeongyang Sacred City. The head of state was Mo Gwang-seo.

Mo Gwang-seo's official title was neither king nor president, prime minister, nor chairman. Not even the pope.

The only fitting title for Mo Gwang-seo was Jesus, and so the full name of the head of the Eastern Holy State was set as ‘Mo Gwang-seo Jesus.’

The comedy scripted and starred by the Resurrection Church had finally reached its climax.

“No, fuck. What the hell...”

Noh Do-hwa’s expression upon hearing the news from the North was priceless.

“Wasn’t that place a communist den? What’s this Jesus rap now? Marx would have defined religion as the opium of the people...?”

“Hmm. Wouldn't a cult be better than Juche ideology?”

“Fuck, what’s better? They’re all the same shit. The country's really gone to hell...”

Indeed, this world was a fantasy. If a reality with ‘Holy Empire’ marked on the map wasn't fantasy, what was?

In any case, Ten Legs remembered Pyongyang as a ‘dirty restaurant’ and avoided it.

The followers of the Eastern Holy State praised this as the ‘glorious miracle of Mo Gwang-seo Jesus Christ.’

Naturally, other North Koreans flocked to Pyongyang. It wasn’t so much that they were deceived by the Eastern Holy State's propaganda but rather because they didn’t want to serve a meal to the nasty Ten Legs.

As time passed in the apocalypse, the governments of Korea, Japan, and China collapsed one after another.

Although the three East Asian countries didn't die together despite being born at different times, they bonded like brothers in death. Only the Eastern Holy State preserved its national identity. Truly, it was a region where the concept of international diplomatic cooperation had been neutered for generations.

As surrounding nations watched with ‘Why haven’t they collapsed yet?’ looks (similar to the previous regime), the Eastern Holy State gradually became self-aware.

‘Huh? All our neighboring countries are gone?’

‘Then isn’t it legitimate to occupy those empty lands now?’

The Eastern Holy State once again initiated ‘march north.’

They didn’t justify it with some newfound nationalism. Such nationalistic thinking was not sexy.

The Eastern Holy State was the only government directly recognized by the Lord. Therefore, it could officially claim any territory in the world.

Thus, the Second Crusade was officially declared in Pyongyang Sacred City.

The Crusaders, restricted to populations of around 300 by the Ten Legs, swept through the Gando region like a tsunami. Liberation, liberation, and more liberation.

“Today, the Holy Crusade of the East liberated three more villages, guiding them into the arms of our Mo Gwang-seo Jesus Christ. Let us pray for the well-being of our brothers and sisters. Amen.”

“Amen!”

This was not a contest between nations or peoples. It was not a national conflict.

It was a bloody battle between the Resurrection Church, equipped with a hypnosis app, and the unfortunate ordinary people opposing them.

Naturally, in this genre of battle, the ordinary people were always at a disadvantage. Even those who had never encountered an R-rated doujinshi could sense the clear foreboding.

If this were the world of a doujinshi, the first person to sense the ‘foreboding’ would have been the first to fall.

“Hmmm...”

Fortunately, reality was not a doujinshi.

Unlike doujinshi, which strictly adhere to genre conventions even if it lowers humanity's average intelligence, real humans could make normal judgments.

Especially Noh Do-hwa, the Director of the National Road Management, who would confiscate the opponent's phone if they had a hypnosis app and explain '101 reasons why you should commit suicide right now' in return.

Initially appalled by the cult chaos, Noh Do-hwa's eyes gradually changed.

“Undertaker...”

“Yes.”

“I’m just curious, but is there any way to use Mo Gwang-seo's Resurrection Church...?”

It was a kind of fate.

The Director of National Road Management, the ruler of the 'South' of the Korean Peninsula, instinctively began to pay attention to the leader of the 'North.'

Footnotes:

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