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Side Story Chapter 14: Idol Echidna (2)

’Please tell me this is a dream, Jesus.’

Oh Kang-Woo brought his hands together and prayed in front of the TV screen, which looked as if it were frozen.

’Please let it all be a misunderstanding. Please let me wake up from this dream.’

- What… do you mean, Echidna?

The host asked Echidna as if Kang-Woo’s desperate prayers were answered. Kang-Woo’s eyes shone; this was a chance.

- Hm? I mean exactly what I said. I’ve been so lonely because Kang-Woo has only been with Seol-Ah lately. I wanna be with Kang-Woo too!

- Who is… this person you call Kang-Woo?

- Hm! He’s the most important person in my life!

- H-Haha. As a brother or something, right? Oh, could he be an anime character? I heard you love anime.

’Nice! I knew you were listening, Jesus! I had faith in you! I never once doubted you!’

- Huh? What are you talking about? I do love anime, but I can differentiate between 2D and 3D. Kang-Woo is someone I love as a male.

’Jesus, you motherfucker. Shut that girl’s mouth this instant! Please, someone shut that girl up!!!’

- Wh-What?! What the hell does that mean?!!

- Marriage?! Echidna-sama is getting married?!!

- Wh-Who dared to lay his filthy hands on our pure Echidna-sama?!

- Demon!

- It must be the work of a wicked demon!!

"I mean, I am a demon, but guys."

’I can swear on my life I’ve never laid a hand on Echidna. I’d be crazy to do anything to her. Why don’t we all start thinking logically, yeah?’

It was true that Kang-Woo did not see Echidna romantically because of her appearance; it did not matter how old she was. Although he was a scumbag, he was not irredeemable trash who would lust for a little girl. However, such logic would not get through to the crazy audience members.

- Kill him!!

- Pitchforks! Grab your pitchforks!!

- Arise, watchmen!!

"Holy fuck."

The psychopathic group of cultists was raging with madness. The situation had already developed to the point of no return, but it was not over yet. One could always fall further.

- H-Hahaha.

The host chuckled lifelessly as the situation grew more insane. He mumbled lifelessly as if his soul left his body.

- I’m fucked…

The host’s shoulders dropped as he felt the career he had built until now falling apart. He then asked something that they did not have an answer to yet.

- Then… what is the relationship between this Kang-Woo and the one you called Seol-Ah?

- Seol-Ah is Kang-Woo’s wife!

- Pardon…?

The host’s expression crumpled further. To put it simply, Echidna had proudly professed her love to a married man on a live program being broadcast throughout the world. No, her actions couldn’t even be called proud— they were insane.

Deathly silence fell once again. The crazed audience members couldn’t help but remain silent as they were faced with true insanity.

"Darling," Kang-Woo called.

"Yes… Kang-Woo?"

"I think I’m fucked."

"I think so too."

Seol-Ah nodded as she blankly stared at the TV screen. Echidna’s fans were known to be like diehard cultists. There was no question how they would take Echidna proclaiming her love to a married man.

’They’d think that married man corrupted the pure Echidna.’

Humans tended to believe only what they wanted to believe. Whatever the truth was, Kang-Woo would be remembered as an irredeemable trash who lusted for another woman, a minor no less, despite already having a wife.

"Ah…" Kang-Woo squeezed his eyes shut as if getting a headache.

- Th-That wraps up today’s episode of Idol Wars! This program is sponsored by— What? J-Just shut up and cut to commercial? U-Understood!

The host ended the program after receiving an order through his earpiece. It seemed they decided the situation could no longer be salvaged.

Silence fell in the living room of Kang-Woo’s apartment once they turned off the TV.

"Darling."

"Yes…?"

"Ask Lilith to get me a member list of that Watchmen fan club."

They had become enemies with whom Kang-Woo could no longer live under the same sky. He needed information about them beforehand.

"Oh, and…" Kang-Woo gritted his teeth as his eyes gleamed. "Call Echidna over. Right now."

***

"Hngh."

Echidna, who came back home after Seol-Ah hurriedly contacted her once the program exploded, was kneeling on the living room floor with her arms raised. A round bump was raised from the top of her head, like the ones usually seen in anime after a character was hit.

"Sniff. I’m sorry… Kang-Woo." Echidna lowered her head in tears after she was scolded intensely by Kang-Woo as soon as she came back home. "Sniff. I-I… Sniff! I thought… it would make you happy…"

Waaaaaaaahhh!

She burst into tears once her sorrow reached its breaking point. She had given it her all so that she could profess her love live on TV but ended up being scolded by Kang-Woo because of it.

"Haaa," Kang-Woo sighed as he looked down at the crying Echidna.

He knew he shouldn’t succumb to those tears, but his rage naturally faded as he stared at Echidna bawling her eyes out.

"Well, what’s done is already done…"

He clicked his tongue and placed his hand on Echidna’s head. Echidna’s tears stopped as Kang-Woo gently patted her head. He took out a tissue and handed it to Echidna.

Blow—!

Echidna blew her nose hard and slowly got up.

"Are you forgiving me?" she asked.

"Nothing’s gonna change even if I scold you now. Also… I already figured out a way to resolve this mess."

Echidna’s diehard fans would investigate Kang-Woo after hearing her shocking statement.

’And they’ll come to find me to be a little boy who looks even younger than Echidna!’

No one in their right mind would think of him as a married man.

’They’d think Echidna was mistaken somehow.’

His young and weak body would unexpectedly become what would allow him to escape threats to his life. Besides, Kang-Woo had nothing to worry about, even if Echidna’s diehard fans attacked him.

’If they think they can kill me, they’re welcome to try.’

Kang-Woo had long since become immune to death. His powers were restricted due to his body’s reconstruction, but his immortality was separate from that. Meaning, he had nothing to worry about, even if among Echidna’s diehard fans were High Rankers or beings with Deific Essence. Rather, he would welcome attacks from such diehard fans since they would help stimulate the Demonic Sea’s survival instinct.

"Thank you, Kang-Woo!" Echidna smiled radiantly and jumped to hug Kang-Woo. She snorted like she always did and then continued carefully, "So, Kang-Woo…"

"Hm?"

"Will you marry me?"

Echidna stared at Kang-Woo with sparkling eyes. Kang-Woo did not even have to think about his answer.

He answered firmly, "No."

Echidna’s eyes dropped in shock. She asked lifelessly, "Why? You… accepted Lilith."

Echidna expected Kang-Woo to accept her as well since he accepted Lilith on top of Seol-Ah.

"Lilith is different." Kang-Woo shook his head and continued, "Echidna. I’m sorry, but I can’t see you as a woman at all."

Age was not the issue; Echidna, in her human form, did not look womanlike at all. No matter how much she desired to be with Kang-Woo, he couldn’t accept someone whom he didn’t see as a member of the opposite sex.

"Is it… because I’m young?" Echidna asked as she twiddled her thumbs.

Kang-Woo thought about his response but decided to answer honestly. "Yeah."

"But I’m older than Seol-Ah."

Echidna pouted as if she couldn’t accept that answer.

"Age isn’t the issue. What matters is whether I see you as a member of the opposite sex or not."

Echidna thought in silence, Her eyes then lit up as if she realized something and asked, "Then will you marry me once I mature?"

"Uhh…" Kang-Woo slurred.

Once time passed and Echidna became a mature dragon, her polymorph appearance would also naturally become that of a mature woman.

"I’ll… think about it when the time comes."

"Hm! No! You have to answer me now!"

Echidna pulled on Kang-Woo’s arm like a predator clinging to its prey. Kang-Woo stared at Seol-Ah with a troubled expression. Just like the matter with Lilith, he couldn’t make this decision alone.

Seol-Ah smiled bitterly and remarked, "I… still can’t imagine Echidna as an adult." She gently patted Echidna’s head and continued, "But if your feelings remain unchanged until then, I’m fine with it."

"H-Hmmmmmmmm!!" Echidna excitedly snorted. "Seol-Ah, Seol-Ah, Seol-Ah! I love you so much!"

"O-Oh, you."

"Milk! I need to drink tons of milk to mature! Seol-Ah! Gimme milk!"

"Kyaaahh! Wh-What are you doing?!"

"Gasp."

Kang-Woo couldn’t help but swallow his breath as he witnessed the spectacle playing out in front of him.

’Milk won’t come out of there no matter how much you suck!’

Bells were ringing inside his head for some reason. Kang-Woo coughed as he stared intently at the two entangled women.

’Should I call this all’s well that ends well?’

The issue with the diehard fans had yet to be resolved, but it would resolve itself one way or another over time. It was more important that they managed to come to a resolution regarding Echidna’s feelings.

"Oh right, Kang-Woo! How was my performance?" asked Echidna, who was clinging to Seol-Ah, as she approached him.

Kang-Woo smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. "My eyes almost popped out from how cute you were."

"Hm! Hm! More! Praise me more!"

"Hehehe. You were so amazing that I didn’t even care about anyone else’s performance." Kang-Woo ruffled the bright-eyed Echidna’s hair. "That aside, you sure made a name for yourself. I remember how much you loved that idol anime."

"Hm! I’m a real idol now!"

"Yeah, you sure are."

’Come to think of it, what was the name of that anime again?’

"Oh right, I remember!" Kang-Woo clapped his hands together and smiled. "It was like Idolmaster or something like that, ri—"

Bash—!!

"Kurgh!!"

Kang-Woo was sent flying by Echidna’s sudden roundhouse kick. He looked up incomprehensively, his chest clenched, and saw Echidna panting in anger.

"Kang-Woo, you idiot! Moron!! Anemone!!! iM@S… iM@S?!! You don’t know anything, Kang-Woo! I hate you!"

Echidna, who seemed more shocked than when her proposal was rejected, turned around in anger and stormed into her room.

Bang!

She slammed the door shut behind her.

"Wha… why…" Kang-Woo looked at the closed door with his chest clenched. "What’s so bad about Idolmaster…?"

He burst into tears of frustration.