BXBX NOVEL Chapter 511: God-Like
Chapter 511: God-Like
This chapter contains implied content that may be offensive to people, so please read with discretion or skip. The content also does not represent views of the translator or the editors.
Little Ye Tian distributed the shares of the other guilds. LordAsked, CloudDragon, and NalanPureSoul all received quite a bit. They looked at Little Ye Tian, very satisfied. That girl, at every weekly meeting, would calculate the dividends very precisely. She was a very reliable and extremely capable financial officer.
“While Farsarqi is not yet in the public’s sight, we should quickly establish our foundation there! Have D3 begin operations, start transporting goods and establish a goddess association branch.” With Little Ye Tian’s reminder, Ye Cang assembled everyone and once again set off to the west.
The two day weekend arrived. Having gone through a simple dress rehearsal the day before, everyone was now gathered at Old Wang’s for a meal. Their group attracted a tide of people. The east districts three legends gathered in one place. Zuo Yiyi was staring infatuated at Panty Uncle, then suddenly shook her head fiercely but was still blushing.
“Nana, why hasn’t your popularity changed?” Flasher Uncle pouted as he looked at Wu Na’s band’s fame on his tablet.
Whose fault is that!? It’s all because of you! Panty Uncle! Damn Ye Cang! Completely taking all the limelight! Even the background announcer Lin Le became a celebrity! Wu Na heard the words of Flasher Uncle, who hadn’t even thought of it from her perspective and she roared in her head. She then glared at him. This time I will definitely show my best performance!
Panty Uncle smiled gracefully and raised his glass, “Let’s have a toast.”
Everyone toasted and drained their cups.
Panty Uncle looked at Zuo Yiyi and smiled mysteriously, “Miss Yiyi, you have good taste. A wild camouflage pattern. It’s even made by a european master, Camo.”
Zuo Yiyi’s charming face reddened again. She had felt a cool breeze for a moment, but it was really only for a moment. It was even hard to feel. Her own fame wasn’t any lower than theirs, she didn’t know why she found it hard to lift her head around Panty Uncle. She shyly said, “I’ve let you see something unseemly.”
“Flasher Uncle, I heard that Lin Hai’s tourism office is planning to make a holiday after you.” Zhang ZhengXiong recalled the news he had heard in the morning.
“Oh, I’ve called to ask about it. The application is already there, but it will only come to effect after I die.” Flasher Uncle drank some soup and nodded.
“Tsk, how improper. He is just a crazy, shameless exhibitionist.” Panty Uncle scolded.
“Better than a panty fetish pervert.” Flasher Uncle retaliated.
Hello, neither of you have the qualification to call anyone a pervert. Wu Na, FrozenCloud, and the others broke out in cold sweat.
Fang Tong ran over to Flasher Uncle and smiled, “Uncle Flasher, I heard that touching your thingy gives health and luck blessings. And I’ll grow tall and pretty... Can I touch it?”
Wu Na, FrozenCloud, SpyingBlade, Zuo Yiyi and Fang Ci broke out in cold sweat, once more. Hey, is that thing a consecrated treasure now?! Well, he’s nearly a godly existence. They imagined the scene of a little girl touching his thingy and just as it was about to actually happen, Fang Ci quickly pulled his little sister back, saying ashamed, “Flasher Uncle, my little sister is ignorant. It’s just the ramblings of a child...”
“It’s fine...” Flasher Uncle smiled and shook his head. He then became depressed, on the edge of mentally falling apart, “I suddenly feel bad. Now even a little kid isn’t scared of my thingy. I want screams. Frightened voices. It seems like it’s really gone forever and never coming back.”
Everyone rolled their eyes. So that’s what you felt bad it.
“Big brother, I want to touch his thingy. It’s a health charm. Tongtong wants to grow up...” Fang Tong made a rare pout and said with determination. This made things difficult for Fang Ci. He could only smile stiffly.
Flasher Uncle became even more depressed. He slumped into his chair, disappointed. Looking up into the night sky, he muttered, “My thingy has been reduced to some auspicious object people pray to. A symbol of health...”
Flasher Uncle stood up. With a wave of his trenchcoat, his battle-ready elephant roared. Zuo Yiyi gaped. What startled her wasn’t his elephant but the surrounding people in prayer, as if they were paying respect to a buddha.
Fang Ci trembled when he saw Fang Tong’s little hand touch the thingy. She then closed her eyes and moaned, “So warm...”
Fang Ci trembled with his hand on his forehead, unable to look at the sight. Ye Cang stroked his chin and said calmly, “Such a touching scene...”
FrozenCloud, Wu Na, and SpyingBlade all couldn’t help but turn away from the scene. They looked at Ye Cang and roared at him in their minds. Then they turned back and saw the surrounding crowd watching with a jealous expression. Feeling that the rumours must be true, Lin Le also reached out and touched it. “Everyone come pray for Little Tong.”
“Alright.” Ye Cang took the lead to reach out and directly touch it. Zhang ZhengXiong followed after him. Zuo Yiyi touched it with trembling hands, then suddenly felt a feeling of safety from it. It completely swept away any worry she felt for tomorrow. A very comforting warmth flowed into her heart.
Little Ye Tian touched it and investigated it while she was at it. There was a very powerful healing type spiritual power covering it. This must be a superpower that had arisen from Flasher Uncle’s long years of effort. Powerful healing type powers were extremely rare. Not even one might appear among 10,000 espers.
Wu Na was indifferent about it. It wasn’t her first time touching it; she had been ambushed by Flasher Uncle since her childhood. FrozenCloud was at a loss. She saw the look Ye Cang was giving her, so decided to touch it. Suddenly, her heart felt warm, as if she was being deeply healed. She felt a moan coming. SpyingBlade and Fang Ci both broke out in cold sweat. They saw that everyone else had a finger on the thingy. If they didn’t touch it, they would feel left out, but if they did touch it... that was someone’s third leg. Seeing everyone praying, they sighed; especially Fang Ci, since his little sister had already touched it, it would become weird if he didn’t, even though having to touch it was already beyond weird. The one who struggled the most was Panty Uncle. Taking off his black glove, he poked it with an index finger. Feeling the warm current, he looked at the thingy with a strange expression. This pervert even developed a super power on his member.
Old Wang quickly took out a camera and took a picture of everyone touching Flasher Uncle’s thingy. Then he congratulated everyone on their success tomorrow.
At that time, a young boy with a fever appeared. He had been feverish for a long time without stop. His mother was carrying him to the hospital when she passed by the night market and saw this scene of everyone prayer for their health. She ran up to the security team and begged, “Flasher Uncle! I beg of you, please let Duoduo touch it! Bless his health!! Please!!”
“Let her in.” Flasher Uncle saw that it was a haggard mother carrying a feverish child and nodded. The child’s mother put him down. In a daze, the young boy touched Flasher Uncle’s thingy, then immediately, the feverish red of his cheeks receded like a tide, regaining their healthy colour. His mind also cleared up. His mother touched his forehead. The fever had immediately gone away! Not even medicine was effective! A fever that required a hospital to cure was healed with one touch of this holy object. She was unable to restrain her emotions and shouted, “God!!”
The crowd all looked at eachother. Finally they all bowed down like a wave. Men and women alike stared red eyed at Flasher Uncle’s thingy.
“God! God!!”
“Please let me touch! I caught a cold last night!!”
“I have a monthly test! Flasher Uncle, please let me touch and borrow some of your godly blessings!”
“My girlfriend wants to break up with me! Flasher Uncle! Please make her change her mind!!”
“Me and A’Feng have known each other for three years but he still doesn’t understand my feelings. I’m planning to confess to him tonight! Flasher Uncle! Please bless me with the courage to confess!!”
Fang Ci, SpyingBlade, Wu Na and FrozenCloud all gaped. It really could grant health! Looking at the devout crowd, making various strange prayers, they all facepalmed.
Note: Lost in translation. The title can mean both ‘like a god’, ‘god elephant’, and apparently good translates it as ‘idol’, most of these seem to fit this chapter.