Chapter 360 - 121
Maxi blushed. Hearing it spoken aloud like that, her actions felt incredibly petty. Biting her lip, she lowered her gaze in shame and said meekly, "Th-This... w-wasn\'t what I wanted."
When she felt his hands stop moving, Maxi glanced up, cautiously studying his face. "What I want... is for us to go back to the way we used to be."
A heavy silence enveloped them. Maxi watched the glow of the firelight gently ripple over the water. Slowly, she lifted her head. Riftan had his arm draped on the tub\'s rim as he stared out the window in silence. The calmness in his gaze made her heart sink.
He was still a stranger whose thoughts she could not penetrate. His face an icy mask, he stared into the distance, the fiery passion in his eyes cooled to an unreadable emptiness. Maxi\'s anger boiled up inside her. After all her attempts to learn his true feelings, he still held her at arm\'s length. He had stripped away all her defenses, yet he remained behind a wall.
Had her legs not been trembling, she would have leaped to her feet and climbed out. Her sorrow deepened with every passing moment of his silence.
Twisting her lips, Maxi kept her gaze fixed on the two dry islands of her knees protruding from the water. Just as she looked up to speak, Riftan got there first.
"The first few weeks after you left... I was a complete wreck. I\'m grateful you weren\'t there to see it."
Maxi stiffened.
Riftan\'s eyes remained fixed on the window as he continued, "Even after coming to my senses somewhat, I worked like a madman. I couldn\'t sleep unless I exhausted myself. After a while, I became strangely numb. I couldn\'t understand it. I felt nothing." A hollow smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "By then, it occurred to me that you might never return."
Maxi\'s eyes widened in shock.
"You spent a mere year in Anatol." Riftan finally turned his head to meet her gaze. "And truthfully, even less time within my castle. I tormented myself with the thought of you finding a better place, better people than those you had at Calypse Castle. Over and over, I told myself I must accept it if it happened. And just when I managed to come to terms with that reality," he said, his voice cracking, "your letter arrived."
Goosebumps rippled through Maxi\'s entire body despite the steaming water, and an inexplicable lump formed in her throat. Riftan slowly raised his head, his calloused fingers caressing her earlobe with a touch that unsettled her.
"Each sentence, each word... I read and reread them, devouring them like a starved man feasting. The fragile stability I\'d built over two seasons - it all shattered. The dam inside me broke. I realized then that I wasn\'t all right. I was decaying from within."
His monotonous words clawed at Maxi\'s ears. Riftan drew her hunched form nearer to his chest, his touch sliding across her back reassuringly. Then, his hand slipped around to cup one of her breasts, partly exposed above the water. She felt his damp breath against her ear.
"Can you understand my misery? I was close to losing my sanity, longing to hold you, but you weren\'t there. All I had were scraps of paper."
"R-Riftan..."
Her nipple was swollen from all the biting and sucking. His rough palm chafed against it while his head lowered to place a light peck on her cheek. Yet, his voice held none of the tenderness of his gestures.
"I eagerly awaited your letters with each passing season. I was like a man dying of thirst, desperately waiting for a drop of water. Later, a part of me even hoped you would stop writing."
Maxi grew still as shock set in. Unsure of how to respond, she bit her lip. Riftan lifted her chin and silently regarded her tear-streaked face. A crease formed on his smooth forehead.
"And then, I feared my wish might come true... and I wanted to rend myself apart for ever having held such hopes."
"..."
"That\'s how wretched the last three years have been for me."
A strange shudder coursed through Maxi as she looked up. His black eyes glimmered like molten gold in the firelight. Suddenly, the room spun around her. Whether it was due to the long soak or the intensity of his longing and resentment unleashed upon her, she could not tell.
Tenderly stroking her lip with his thumb, Riftan\'s voice was thick with emotion as he said, "How can such hellish years be forgotten in a day?"
As Maxi struggled to form a response, she felt his hot tongue push into her mouth. Wearily, she accepted his probing tongue, bitter with the taste of wine, and blinked her heavy eyes in a fight to stay awake. The overpowering flavor filled her mouth, making her wonder if he had been drinking alone while she slept.
Wrapping his tongue around hers and suctioning it gently, he tilted his head to taste every corner of her mouth. Unsatisfied, he pushed further, teasing the soft palate of her throat. It was as if he were experimenting with how depraved a kiss could be.
Maxi gasped for air, and Riftan growled in mild discontent.
"Suck my tongue."
Heat rose to the top of her head. It felt as if her skull were giving off billows of steam.
Riftan gazed down at her, his eyes narrowed. "Do it."
Obediently, Maxi parted her lips and drew his tongue deep into her mouth. A guttural noise emanated from Riftan\'s throat.
Recoiling slightly, she continued the dizzying kiss. Time blurred, and eventually, Maxi went slack. Riftan reluctantly broke away. He lifted her and stepped out of the tepid water, laying her listless form on the bed. There, he proceeded to dry her off.
He maneuvered her into a thin linen dress and pulled her into his arms. A bitter silence hung over their heads. Maxi thought about the loneliness and longing he must have felt. Her heart wrenched as she wondered what it must feel like to wait for a letter that might never come.
All this time, she had resented him for failing to understand her, but she realized now that she had failed to understand him. Maxi pressed her wet eyes against his broad chest.
Instead of pressuring him into action, she should have patiently waited for him to open his heart when he was ready, as he had done for her. She wrapped her arms firmly around his waist, squeezing her eyes shut. She would never allow this man to be alone again. Even if he were to push her away, she would never be parted from him.
They remained ensconced in the opulent room for days, just as Riftan had promised. Maxi lost track of the hours, with time oozing by as though they were moored in a swamp filled with sweet nectar.
Maxi gazed drowsily up at the sky, already tinged red. Had yet another day slipped by so quickly? As if noticing that she was lost in her thoughts. Riftan drew her head toward him.
"What\'re you looking at?"
The crimson sunset illuminated the graceful contours of his body. Captivated, she brushed her fingers along his skin, which shone like heated bronze. To her surprise, he felt only slightly warm.
Riftan brought her hand to his lips, giving it a teasing lick. "Do you still want more?"
Desire flashed in his eyes, and Maxi hastily shook her head. Her intimate regions still ached from their passionate lovemaking.
She withdrew her clammy body from his, saying hoarsely, "I-Is it all right... for us to just stay here? Th-The negotiations have not yet ended, and there is also the C-Council-"
"Don\'t think about such useless things," Riftan interjected coldly.
He pulled her back into an embrace, their tepid skin sticking to each other like glue. Maxi let out a drowsy sigh. Was there indeed no end to desire? Satisfaction seemed fleeting, always leaving her yearning only moments after experiencing the pleasure of climax. And it appeared Riftan struggled even more than she did.
After eagerly licking her lips, Riftan slid his hand between her legs. Maxi hunched her shoulders against the feeling. Sensing her body\'s response, Riftan withdrew his finger and sighed resignedly.
"We should eat," he said, gracefully rising from the bed.
He strode to the table and returned with a covered tray. Maxi gazed blankly at the lukewarm soup, bacon, and salad adorned with various nuts. Though she had intended to comply with his wishes to alleviate his unease, their extended confinement in the room was beginning to worry her.
"D-Do the others know we are here?" she asked anxiously. "My friends might be concerned-"
"Why should they be concerned when you are with your husband?" he replied brusquely, placing a spoon in her hand.
Though Maxi had more to say, she resigned herself to eating. Riftan attentively watched her as he waited. When she finally lowered her spoon, he finished off the remaining food.
The words she wished to say rose to her throat before she desperately swallowed them back down. She was afraid of breaking this tranquil peace between them, that they would hurt each other with barbed tongues again. However, she had too many questions to ignore, and she could not remain stagnant like a puddle of rainwater forever.
While he cleared away the tray, Maxi quietly put on a robe and crossed the room to peer out the window. Beyond the dense trees, she could hear the distant sounds of music.
Is there another banquet tonight?