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Chapter 516:

"Kurosaki-kun." Orihime waved at the Orange haired kid.

"Orihime, are you alright?" The kid ignored the tension in the room and was fairly direct in his worry about her.

Funny enough Izzy didn\'t seem to mind, probably purely for the fact that it was his care for Orihime.

"I\'m fine!" She smiled happily.

"Idiot." Yoruichi hissed, grabbed the back of his Kimono with her teeth and pulling him down until he hit the ground. "Read the mood."

There were several faces among the crowd of Shinigami that I recognized. Though they weren\'t all in great condition, several of them looked like they went through the ringer just recently. Obviously considering what had just happened minutes earlier with the Hollows and the fighting around the city.

The only Captain was a kid, more literally than I would have thought, with white hair, which I\'m fairly sure I never actually met in person. At his immediate side was a woman I was sure I never met because I would certainly never forget certain…..assets of hers.

She had very large boobs and seemingly had them almost on full display. She also had some very luscious bright orange hair and I almost asked what hair care products she used.

But I recognized Rukia, Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika.

Izzy\'s small amount of humor towards the kid seemed to fade as she looked back down at the prostrated Shinigami.

Oh, I found Orihime\'s stash of Tea!

Why was it under the sink?

….it\'s soaked because the pipes under her sink are leaking something fierce.

Well, isn\'t this just a mess? I quickly used a bit of Magecraft to force together the small and noticeable break in the pipes, but honestly, it was a Band-Aid on a stab wound. This place needed a thorough look through to fix back up.

Despite the awkward silence, I just withdrew my own Kettle and my own tea leaves and began to boil some water to make my own.

It wasn\'t until my kettle started whistling that Izzy spoke up again.

"Is no one going to speak?" Izzy frowned.

"We – " The white haired kid was about to say something, but the strange TV set up against the other wall, the half-organic mechanical monstrosity lit up and seemed to shimmer until a picture became visible.

Once more, another familiar face appeared. On the screen, and presumably, coming from Soul Society, Shunsui was showing.

From the other side his figure was rather vivid, he was standing there with his Lieutenant, and they seemingly also noticed everything going on because they saw their comrades still prostrating, and then they noticed Izzy sitting there next to Orihime.

Both Shunsui and his Lieutenant immediately prostrated just as the other Shinigami did.

"Lady Izanami, you grace us with your presence." Shunsui was oddly polite and respectful in his tone. Well, not that odd considering how Izzy was perceived, but more so because I had not seen this side of him.

"Hmm." Izzy\'s response was lackluster. "I am displeased."

Shunsui visibly swallowed. "We would be happy to rectify any displeasure you currently have."

Well, can\'t say he can\'t adapt well.

It\'s easy for me to forget that others don\'t look at Gods the same way that I do.

A God is a very lofty existence. It\'s something revered, exalted, worshiped.

One of their primary Gods from Myths and Legends was literally sitting infront of them. I can\'t really fault them for acting like this. As far as they were concerned, she literally Created Japan and predated humanity and themselves by eons.

How would anyone of Christian, Muslim, or Judaism origin react to seeing Big G in person?

"How good to hear. Tell me, is it the normal measures that you all take to impose yourself on a 15-year-old girl in her home that is just big enough to accommodate herself? In a situation where all her monetary expenses are barely enough for herself as well?"

"Pardon?" Shunsui blinked.

"Wilhelm." Izzy turned to me. "Retrieve him."

"Ah?" Shunsui seemed confused.

The background of his, it looked like his barracks that I was at last time. So, my Calculations weren\'t too difficult to trace back.

I snapped my fingers, connecting a portal in his approximation. The portal itself appeared on the screen and Shunsui looked over at it, peering through seeing us.

"Come here." Izzy spoke very sternly.

Shunsui awkwardly shuffled through my portal, stepping out into Orihime\'s apartment. He looked around noticing me in person, there was a small flash of relief, but as his gaze swept over everyone else and then back on Izzy, it turned back to hesitation.

"Tell me, is this how you handle your matters?" She gestured to the Shinigami on the ground, the giant TV-device-thing that was taking up probably about a fourth of her apartment. "Because she is too kind to deny the intrusion of several people centuries her senior." Izzy snorted in disdain.

Shunsui didn\'t really have anything to say in response.

"I expect her to be properly compensated." Izzy finally stated.

"Of course." Shunsui strained a smile. "It will take some time. To acquire –"

"If you are going to tell me that you don\'t have mundane equivalent currency on hand when your people come out to mingle among the mortals, then I am going to be very disappointed."

"I will immediately send word to the budget committee." Shunsui said quickly.

"Hmph." Izzy stood up. "I will be sending people over to repair this place, I expect no one to annoy them. In the meantime, we will be spending time elsewhere."

"We?" Orihime tilted her head.

Izzy smiled at her. "Come along, many of your things were destroyed, I will take you shopping while your home is repaired."

"But I don\'t have any money?" Orihime replied.

"You don\'t have to worry." Izzy pat her gently on the head. "I have plenty, it will be my treat. Have you ever been to Kyoto?"

Orihime shook her head. "I\'ve never left Karakura."

"Then you will be in for a treat. We will go visit where the Youkai have made their home in Kyoto."

Orihime\'s eyes lit up. "That sounds fun!"

Izzy smiled and turned to me. "Wilhelm, if you would be so kind."

I silently opened another portal right to Kyoto for them, specifically Yasaka\'s Kyoto if what she said was any indication.

Izzy and Orihime happily went through, and I closed it right behind them.

Almost instantly, the tension in the room disappeared.

I calmly sipped my tea as it seemed everyone else regained their composure. "Good to see you again, Shunsui." I raised my cup up to greet him properly.

Shunsui smiled awkwardly, letting out a sigh. "I don\'t suppose you have something stronger to drink on you?"

"You\'re lucky." I rummaged through my Ring and took out a jar of Peach Wine. I got quite a few from Venelana, so I didn\'t mind wasting a little bit. I poured him a small glass and pushed it towards him.

Shunsui was mostly joking from his expression, but he happily took it and drank the small glass. His eyes widened and he nearly fell over, coughing hectically. "W-what did you just give me?!"

"You\'d probably faint if I told you what\'s in it."

Shunsui closed his eyes and sipped the remainder. "I think you\'ve ruined all other sake for me."

"What the hell just happened!" The Orange Haired kid suddenly blurted out.

"Izzy and your friend just went on a shopping trip." I took a sip of my tea.

"Apparently Youkai exist, and they went there." Shunsui helpfully added. "Explains a lot about Captain Komamura….."

"Is…..she in danger?" Ichigo looked concerned.

"My daughter lives there, she\'s fine." I reassured him.

"….alright." He didn\'t sound too convinced.

"Oi, you got some of that to share." Ikkaku came up. "Could use a drink."

I shrugged, remembering how nice they were with our little field trip to Soul Society and poured him a small cup.

He had almost the same reaction as Shunsui.

"Yumichiki, it\'s been awhile." I raised my mug up as he stood next to Ikkaku. "Your hair looks good, new product?"

He smiled happily. "I tried the stuff you mentioned, it really does work well." He fluffed his ends.

That\'s good.

"Ichigo, and Rukia. How\'s my favorite miss-matched couple?"

"We\'re not dating!" They both nearly shouted at the same time.

"Ara?" Shunsui smiled. "There\'s nothing in the rules against it, Kuchiki!"

"Well, it might be looked down on after what that dastardly villain Kurosaki Ichigo did in Soul Society."

"Screw you!"

Yoruichi began to laugh wildly. "There\'s tons of people who still think it\'s Ichigo."

The Orange Haired kid just crossed his arms and scowled.

"Rukia! You didn\'t tell me you had a boyfriend!" The Orange Haired woman from before scooped up the smaller Shinigami in a big hug. "Tell me all about it~"

"It\' not – mph." Rukia was pressed firmly into her cleavage and unable to speak any further.

"Wilhelm Schweinorg." The Captain among them finally spoke up.

I had a sudden realization. Right, we did meet ever so briefly before. "Apologies, but can I have your name again?"

"Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya, 10th Division." He said without much emotion in his words.

"Oh shit, that isn\'t the division Izzy and I drew graffiti in, is it?"

"…..that was the 6th division." Captain Hitsugaya twitched slightly. "I do not suggest spending time around Captain Kuchiki."

"Ah, I remember now." I nodded. "Rukia\'s asshole older brother."

"Don\'t talk about him like that!" Rukia forced herself free.

"Nah, it\'s pretty accurate. He\'s gotten better since though." Renji chimed in.

"Renji!"

"Well, tell him not to execute his sister." I deadpanned.

"I\'m with him." Ichigo looked at Rukia as well. "He\'s a dick."

Rukia\'s sandal went flying and smacked into Ichigo\'s face as she struggled in the other woman\'s grasp.

Heh, they\'re cute together.

"Ara ara, and I\'m Rangiku Matsumoto, Lieutenant of the 10th Division." The woman also introduced herself.

"Well, it is an absolute pleasure." I smiled.

"Alright, don\'t start flirting." Yoruichi jumped onto my head. "Bad enough that you did it with Captain Unohana. That\'s all they\'ve been talking about at the weekly Shinigami Women\'s Association."

"Wait, there\'s a women\'s association?" Ichigo asked.

"For the Shinigami specifically?" I added on.

"What?" Yoruichi questioned. "It\'s a male dominated field, of course we\'d have get togethers."

"She\'s right, it\'s hard to get the amount of representation we need as female Shinigami." Lieutenant Matsumoto nodded.

Huh.

"What was with the bowing from before? Laying it on a bit thick there, weren\'t you? Izzy would be fine with a simple acknowledgement." I asked curiously.

The Shinigami looked between themselves as if a secret only known by them.

Shunsui cleared his throat. "We are under orders to treat Lady Izanami with the highest of respects."

"Oh? The Old Man ordered that?" I took a sip of my tea.

"No, it came from above him. Directly from Zero Division." Shunsui clarified. "The Goddess Izanami will be shown the same respect that we do for the Soul King."

Oh…..

"Well then."

"Who\'s the Soul King?" Ichigo bluntly asked.

"Later." Yoruichi interrupted. "It\'s not really something we\'re supposed to talk about in public."

Ichigo just shrugged. "Well, he must be as scary as her then if ya\'ll acting like that."

Yoruichi hopped over to his head. "Seriously, even as a joke, don\'t say shit like that around Soul Society or the Shinigami." The others tensed up a little. "One of the first things Shinigami learn when they\'re taught our history, the Soul King is beyond reproach. If you say something you shouldn\'t, immediate execution. So everyone just doesn\'t mention him publicly."

"That seems intense, even for you lot." Ichigo grunted. "And you\'re supposed to treat her the same way?"

"And now you understand why everyone bowed when they immediately saw her." Yoruichi smacked her paw on his head.

"Orihime\'s going to be fine, right?" Ichigo asked again.

"She\'s in good hands." I smiled good-naturedly.

"Alright." Ichigo nodded.

Well, can\'t fault him for being careful of his friend even if I already answered once. This last one seemed to remove any hesitation on his part.

The subject sort of made the others uneasy.

"So….anyone care to mention why you all are camping out in a 15 year old girl\'s one bedroom tiny apartment?" I looked around.

Well, a few of them looked sheepish.

"I\'m living with Ichigo." Rukia huffed, looking away.

"Make sure to wear protection, you don\'t want a kid at your age." I pat Ichigo\'s shoulder, feeling oddly proud of the young man.

"Not like that!" The petite Shinigami squawked while Ichigo went bright red. "I\'m sleeping in his sister\'s room!"

"It was an urgent assignment and we didn\'t have many options." Captain Hitsugaya defended.

"Doesn\'t Urahara have a literal basement the size of a mountain range?" I asked, making the small Shinigami nearly stumble. "Yoruichi?"

"They didn\'t ask." She shrugged, as a cat.

"Why didn\'t you offer?"

"Eh, we\'re still pissed at them."

"Fair enough." I looked back at the group. "Still not okay with you guys taking advantage of Orihime. But Izzy already expressed her dissatisfaction."

"…..we\'ll take care of it." Shunsui swallowed.

Wow, they really do treat her with that much reverence and fear.

"Anyways, care to get me up to speed? Why did I walk in on Hollows attacking Karakura so openly?"

"It\'s a sorta new thing for us too." Yoruichi jumped back to me. "Happened a couple weeks ago, few Arrancar popped up, seemed to be looking through the city under cover. We took of them easily enough, then a few more popped up and they were much more aggressive. At that point, we called Soul Society and they sent some reinforcements to watch over the place. This third time, they escalated more and you saw what happened."

"Why were they looking through the city?" I took another sip of my drink.

"Are you serious?" Yoruichi looked at me.

"Hmm?"

"They were looking for your location." Shunsui replied. "After you left, no one could find where you had disappeared to. We had started to scour the human world….even with some hints you dropped over in England, we couldn\'t find anything. The only thing we knew was that you were seen in Karakura beforehand….and well….guess they decided it was good a place as any."

Ah, that makes some amount of sense. "I guess Aizen is still angry. But why were you guys looking for me?" Yoruichi had a way to contact me, but she was explicitly not mentioning that, so I assume she didn\'t want it known?

Shunsui awkwardly rubbed his cheek. "There may or may not have been an order coming from the Central 46 that we were to.... reacquire possession of the object that the Traitor Aizen so desperately wants."

"Am I to assume that order is still in effect?" I frowned.

"No, the Zero Division overrode them." Shunsui smiled happily. "However, the Zero Division did express an open invitation as there were things they wanted to discuss with both yourself and Goddess Izanami."

Not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

"Hmm, so the attempt to kidnap Orihime was a new thing for you guys too, huh?"

"What!?" Ichigo shouted.

"What, do you think they sent those powerful people just to kill her?" I flicked his forehead to calm him down.

"We hurried over as soon as we could after sensing the Traitor Ichimaru Gin and the two powerful Hollow Reiatsu at his side." Captain Hitsugaya stated.

Shunsui nodded in approval. "I\'ll need your full reports. Especially considering now who\'s involved." He let out a sigh. "Atleast the funding request won\'t be denied….considering."

"Of course." Captain Hitsugaya replied firmly.

"Why would they want to kidnap that girl?" Ikkaku asked. "Nothing really special about her."

Yoruichi and I shared a look.

"Her powers aren\'t…..as mundane as they seem on the surface. Frankly, if she wasn\'t as kind hearted as she was….there would be a genuine fear of what she could do with them." I briefly touched on it.

Shunsui strained a smile. "That\'s going to be fun to explain my reports. I don\'t suppose I could get more than that?"

"You can always direct them to Izzy."

"Suddenly, I look forward to reporting this!" Shunsui grinned happily.

"Wait, what can she do? I thought she could make shields and heal." Ichigo crossed his arms. "Well, she could do a cutting shield thing too…"

"She can reject phenomena." I kept it vague.

Well most of them didn\'t really understand what that truly meant.

But Shunsui his eyes seemed to darken as he possibly thought of the worse interpretation of what I just said.

"Keep in mind, if Soul Society tries any on her, Izzy will be pissed." I made sure to clarify bluntly.

Izzy liked Orihime, she doesn\'t take to people often.

Protective mother instincts perhaps?

"Nice to get caught up and all, but why are you here?" Yoruichi was back on my head, lightly slapping me with her paw. "You disappear for awhile, then suddenly reappear when things suddenly go to shit? Pretty convenient."

"Convenient for other people. Honestly, with my luck, this is about par for the course. I\'ve been having a pretty shit day and I came here to ask for Tessai\'s help and saw what was happening so I lent a hand."

Could probably get Orihime\'s help instead, but this seemed like something particularly more delicate than \'normal\' healing that she does. I\'d rather have an expert in the area even if it\'s harder and takes longer.

"Well, he\'s back at the shop." Yoruichi replied.

I looked at Shunsui. "Need me to give you a hand back home?"

He waived it off. "It\'s best that I use the….proper methods of entering Soul Society. Less scolding I\'ll have to deal with."

"….we should probably start on our reports too." Renji\'s shoulders slumped. "They\'re actually going to read them because of who we met…"

The other Shinigami shared a similar sentiment.

"….I\'ll leave you to it!" Paper work, it seems to be the enemy of everyone from Gods to Shinigami and even Humans. "Don\'t forget what she said, or Izzy is going to be angry. And don\'t be surprised if Orihime sleeps over for a night or so and doesn\'t come back immediately."

Best to cover all our bases.

Shunsui twitched and slumped. "I\'ll need to get that rolling as soon as possible too."

I picked up the Jar of Peach wine and tossed it to him. "Make sure to share with the Old Man."

Shunsui lit up happily. "You\'re the light of my life!"

"Come on, I\'ll take you to see Tessai." Yoruichi hopped off my head.

"I\'m coming too." Ichigo stated.

"Me too!" Rukia was quick to escape from the other women and join up with Ichigo.

Well, whatever, not like I was going to tell them no.

[***]

"Your Shunpo has gotten a lot better." Yoruichi noted as we touched down infront of Urahara\'s Candy shop. "You can actually keep up with me now without many wasted movements, I\'m impressed."

Rukia and Ichigo were quick to join us as well.

"It\'s talent." I said haughtily.

"More like you had a great teacher." She preened instead.

"Meh."

"Screw you, I\'m the best. Flash Queen!"

"Because you flash people."

"That\'s only part of it." She cackled.

"Why do you stay as a Cat most of the time?" I asked.

"Why wouldn\'t I? Being a cat is awesome. Did you know people give me free fish as a cat!?" She exclaimed. "Free fish!"

I just shook my head as we approached the entrance only for the door to slide open with a loud \'bang\'.

A certain bucket-hat wearing man in wooden clogs held a fan up infront of his face. "Well, it\'s certainly a surprise, Schweinorg-kun. What can this humble shop owner do for you?"

"Hey there, candy man. Can Tessai come out to play?"

A shadow loomed over Urahara as Tessai stepped out from being him. "Schweinorg-Dono."

"Hey Tessai, how have you been?"

"Busy." He said plainly and I noticed the blood stains on his apron.

Hollow blood I\'m assuming.

"Why don\'t we discuss things inside? The kids are here too, I\'m sure they\'d like to see you again." Urahara snapped his fan shut with a wide grin. "They\'re in the basement!"

"Even if you didn\'t specify the basement, that\'s where I assume you would keep kids."

"Pfft." Yoruichi muffled a laugh.

"Ara, Schweinorg-Kun, always so hurtful." Urahara let out an exaggerated sigh. "Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-kun, I assume that everything was resolved well enough?"

"They tried to kidnap Orihime, Hat-n-Clogs." Ichigo crossed his arms. "Didn\'t even notice them until it was almost too late."

"…oh?" There was a hint of seriousness to Urahara as Ichigo said that. "I admit, I didn\'t sense them either, so it\'s not your poor control issues that you missed it…."

"They were wearing these cloaks that made my perception just slide right off." I explained.

Urahara\'s expression shifted slightly. "That would be my fault...It seems Aizen helped himself to the remnants of my lab after we had to leave Soul Society in a haste."

"Should we be more worried, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked. "Not being able to sense them until that point, that\'s pretty serious."

"They were damaged, I assume?"

"More or less."

Urahara nodded. "They took a lot of effort and materials to make. They\'re harder to repair than to create new, and they\'re quite difficult to make in the first place. I would say that I doubt Aizen cares enough about his subordinates to spend days – maybe weeks remaking them."

That\'s good to hear then. I don\'t want another Orihime kidnapping attempt to happen.

Urahara led us down into his massive basement, the one that contained a training room that was basically a small mountain range inside.

Honestly, it was somewhat impressive and a neat idea.

It also lacked the uncomfortable weather conditions that this sort of terrain would normally contain.

"Chad!" I walked up to the big guy who was waiting patiently. "You\'re looking good."

He smiled. "Hello."

"And Uryū." I was a bit less forward with him, he was more reserved. "Have you been well? You\'re still wearing that glove." I noticed it in particular.

Uryū pushed up his glasses. "I\'m fine." He explicitly did not say anything about the Glove he was wearing.

I wouldn\'t push it.

"Is Inoue okay?" He asked. "Those Reiatsu near her were….powerful."

"She\'s as fine as can be. Home got wrecked a bit, but she\'s having a shopping day with Izzy right now."

"….Izzy?"

"Izanami."

Uryū stilled, perhaps recalling that was what I called her rather than her full name.

I was glad I could check in on them. They\'re good kids, even Ichigo, and I\'d be upset if they weren\'t doing well after everything that happened.

I would need to keep a closer eye on what\'s going on here for now on.

"I didn\'t ask, but are there no Quincy sightings since everything that happened?" I looked at Yoruichi, but it was Urahara who answered.

"Unfortunately, we have been unable to verify the intent of the Quincy." Urahara unfolded his fan again. "Our attempts at reaching them have been…..unsuccessful."

"Well, they expect it, so I assume they have their own countermeasures." I tapped my chin.

"Indeed."

"Speaking of, did you guys do something to the humans living here? I didn\'t see a single one when we were up and about…"

I could just tell that Urahara grinned wide behind his fan. "That would be my newest creation!" He threw his hands up, and out of his sleeve was a black cube-like item. "Knowing that Karakura might be a battlefield, I created this little contraption and placed them around the city. In the event of Spiritual Pressure rising beyond a certain level, it grabs all the Humans in its vicinity, puts them in stasis, then holds them in a pocket dimension!"

"That\'s….smart, well done." Praise where it was due.

Urahara just chuckled. "I doubt you came all the way here to talk about my genius, Schweinorg-kun." He walked over and pat Tessai on the shoulder.

"Right, sorry. Uh, I have a little bit of a problem that involves a young women missing part of her soul. You would be….should be a Kaido expect, right, Tessai?"

Tessai smiled helpfully. "Indeed I am, Schweinorg-Dono! I may not be as skilled as Captain Unohana, but I am confident in my skills."

"I would like to ask a favor then and see if you can\'t help her."

"Hmm, I would be more than willing to lend my aid. However, at the moment, my attention is elsewhere. I require….an hour before I can leave." He looked thoughtful.

An hour? Well, that\'s not too bad.

I can maybe time things so Ozpin isn\'t waiting too long. And it\'s not like he would leave Amber just outside of her pod while he waits a couple hours.

"It seems you have some time to spare then, Schweinorg-kun!" Urahara was at my side with his fan poking my shoulder. "I have the perfect way to spend this time!"

"….and what would that be?" I pursed my lips.

"Why, I was oh so curious about your fight against the Hollow I felt from far away. Unfortunately, I wasn\'t able to see it for myself, but you seem to be in good condition." He walked over and hit Ichigo with his fan on the shoulder. "Why don\'t you have a friendly spar with Kurosaki-kun here."

"What?" Ichigo\'s head snapped towards Urahara.

"I got a can of tuna on Ichigo getting his ass kicked." Yoruichi spoke up.

"Screw you!"

You know, I actually wouldn\'t be against that. And as far as probing actions go, this was about as subtle as a freight train. Well, I already knew what kind of person Urahara was, and he obviously wanted to know more about me, and he could probably guess I wouldn\'t willingly give away much.

Thus, this proposition.

Who said that relaxation had to be forgoing physical exertion? I think beating up a strawberry can be fairly relaxing!

"I don\'t know, I heard that Ichigo here caused substantial damage to Soul Society and that doesn\'t fill me with confidence…"

"Alright, we\'re fighting!" Ichigo scowled. "Get out your Zanpakutō, I\'m gonna kick your ass."

Well, If I\'m stuck here for an hour or so, there are worse ways to spend it.

[***]

A/N

Unbeta\'d chapter, so probably has more mistakes than normal.

On a side note, I\'m taking a few days off, don\'t expect a chapter until about Thursday at a minimum. Also, part 6 of the omake is up on p.a.t.r.e.o.n

If you want to read 10 chapters ahead or support me, visit my p.a.t.r.e.o.n.c.o.m / astoryforone

I also have a boosty if you can\'t use the above under the same name.